Laugh, Love, Live, Learn
by Letzi
Summary: Dean's love life is a mess and everyone knows it. But now Sam is getting married and Dean is getting anxious. One day he finds an article in a chick's magazine that leads him to believe he's going to end up sad and alone. So he decides to find his exes, see if he hasn't missed anything. He's not really good at finding stuff though, so he asks his hot neighbor Gabriel for help.
1. It's a wonderful life

**A/N** : This fic is based on the movie "What's your number" with Anna Faris and Chris Evans.

I don't exactly know why, but this movie kind of hit me in the face with all its cuteness, and it became one of my fave movie. And one day i thought "this would make a great Debriel fic!" so here it is :)

I hope you'll like it, and I really hope it'll make you curious about the movie. I highly recommend it, not only for all the naked Chris Evans scenes, but also because it feels really true and not at all cheesy like most romcom can be.

Title from the song "Grace" by Devin Townsend

* * *

Dean opened his eyes slowly, trying to remember where he was and what he was supposed to do. Oh yeah, bed. Chuck. Work. Chuck? Right, Chuck came in the night before. Dean sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

He turned on his side, extending his arm to open the drawer of his nightstand, as discreetly as he could. Where were his fucking breath mints? He always tried to look his best with his boyfriends (and sometimes girlfriends. But dicks, man. Dicks were great), even if it sometimes meant pretending he loved being taken from behind. Or listening to Chuck read bits of his book all day long and let the guy think he liked it. It wasn't good, okay? It was full of stupid shit like dragons and demons and there was an awful lot of embarrassing sex scenes in it, with unrealistic bimbos – like, seriously, was that why he liked it doggy style? Was it because he preferred imaginary blonds with big boobs and it was easier to picture without a penis in sight? – and Dean just couldn't stand it anymore. But he did anyway, or at least he tried, because he wanted to be a good boyfriend. Even if he wasn't sure Chuck considered him to be his.

There was also the fact that he was well in his thirties now, and he really needed to settle down. His brother, Sammy, was getting married in a month. His little brother was getting married. What did it say about him? It wasn't supposed to go that way. Dean was supposed to be the one leading the way. So even if life with Chuck wasn't easy, mostly because Chuck wasn't around much, it was worth it.

It really was. Totally. It totally was. Yep. Nothing was wrong.

He finally found the mints, popped one in his mouth and tried to comb his hair with his fingers so he wouldn't look (and smell) like a crazy hobo. He settled himself on his pillow and quickly closed his eyes when he felt Chuck move. He heard the guy clear his throat and felt his hand land abruptly on his stomach. He opened his eyes lazily, as if he was just waking up.

"Hey…" He said, a fake contented smile on his face.

"Hey, gorgeous." Chuck said with little enthusiasm. He then turned his back on Dean and promptly got back to sleep.

So that was it. Well, Dean could score some points with breakfast at least… He got up with a sigh and headed toward the kitchen. He took a quick look into the fridge and decided on a simple bacon and egg dish. He couldn't cook that well anyway. So he turned on the coffee machine and quickly got to work.

Chuck emerged from the bedroom fifteen minutes later, completely dressed, the last draft of his weird novel in hands.

"Sorry, babe, gotta go!" He said, walking toward the door.

Dean blinked at him.

"Already? But I made breakfast!"

Chuck stopped and finally looked at him, an embarrassed expression on his face.

"Uh, yeah, I know, but I have to see my editor and it's gonna take a while, so it's better if I go early. I mean, you don't mind, right? You know it's important."

"Uh… Yeah… I mean… Wh… sure."

He put his pan down and followed Chuck to the door.

"It was great by the way!" Chuck said as he kissed him lightly, opening the door at the same time. "We should do that again, yeah?"

He started running down the stairs.

"Give me a call!" He shouted as he disappeared.

Dean didn't even try to answer him. He was already gone anyway. He just stood there for a second, scratching his stomach absent-mindedly, wondering what had gone so wrong in his life that it led him here, standing in his doorway in a Mickey Mouse T-shirt and old boxer shorts, trying to figure out a guy who obviously wasn't that much into him. He hadn't even had the time to ask Chuck to go with him to Sam's wedding. Well, it would have been lame anyway. 'Hey there, yeah, this is Chuck, the guy who dates me 'cause I let him fuck me from behind'. Sam wouldn't have appreciated that, he bet.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the door on the other side of the corridor open. He looked up. And then he had to remember to breathe because, _hot damn_! His neighbor, 6A, as he lovingly dubbed him based on the number of his door, was coming out of his apartment completely naked, saved for a towel he held in front of his crotch. Dean just stood there as he watched the guy bend down to get the morning paper that was waiting for him on his doormat. God, what a sight! The guy looked up, brushing away a dirty blond strand of hair from his face. He smiled at Dean, his golden eyes gleaming with amusement.

"Hey, 6C!" He greeted Dean, and he seemed genuinely pleased to see him there. "Nice shirt!'

He smiled again, wriggling his eyebrows at Mickey Mouse in a suggestive way, and then got back inside. But before he could close the door completely, Dean saw a naked woman walking toward him. Hm.

Dean sighed again. Well, better get ready for work then. It was going to be a long day…

The journey to work was tedious. He wished he had a car. Technically, he had one. His dad's old Chevy Impala. But he didn't even have a driver's license. And maybe that wasn't such a good idea, driving a car in NYC. Sure, it wouldn't prevent him from being late but at least it would avoid him the pain of having to take the subway. He hated it. He hated the smelly people, he hated to have to stay on his feet for 30 minutes every morning, he hated feeling the sweat slowly dripping under his shirt because it was always fucking hot in those things, he hated everything about the subway.

So he got out of it pretty quickly when the train reached his station and almost ran up the stairs that lead outside so he could breathe a bit.

He finally found his way to his cubicle, up on the seventh floor of the Sandover Marketing building. But he barely had the time to sit when he heard his name.

"Dean? Dean Winchester?"

He looked up. His boss. What was happening? Maybe he realized Dean was the one who fixed the almost fatal mistake someone had made in the Johnson file and wanted to give him a raise? That would have been very neat, he thought. And Dick –Richard Roman, his boss, but he always insisted on being called Dick- was smiling at him. He didn't have to worry, did he?

He got up and entered the office, trying not to show his anxiety. Dick was already at his desk, looking at him with a professional smile on his face. He gestured for Dean to sit and stared at him in silence as Dean tried to find a comfortable position in one of the weird designer chair Dick had in his office.

"Dean. Dean, Dean. How are you today?"

He wasn't expecting this.

"Hum… Good? I guess…"

"Good. That's great! Now, Dean." He stopped there and stared.

"Uh… Yes?" This was awkward.

"I am so sorry…" He started. And Dean felt his stomach drop. "We have to let you go. Times are hard, you know?"

Dean just nodded. What the fuck?

"I hope you understand" Dick went on.

"Uh… Oh… yeah, yes of course. Hum… who else is fired with me? If you don't mind me asking?"

"Of course not! Well, let's see…" He looked at a random sheet of paper that was lying on his desk. "Hm… yes…. Just you. Sorry."

He smiled his brightest professional smile again.

Well, this day just sucked.

So here he was again, sitting in a train, a box of all his office's possessions next to him. He looked inside out of curiosity and noticed that half of the shit packed in there weren't even his own. 'Cosmo', seriously? He took the magazine in his hand and opened it at a random page. 'What's your number?' it read in big, bold black letters. He started reading the article. It was about women and how many sexual encounters they had, or were supposed to have in their lifetime. His eyebrows almost disappeared in his hairline when he saw the average number. 10.5… really? It wasn't even that much… Did this also applied to men? He looked around, half laughing. He was well over 10 now, wasn't he? He couldn't really remember. But he so wanted to make a list. You know, just for fun?

He found an old note book in the bottom of the box and started the ugly task of counting every person he had ever slept with. It was going to take a while…

Dean got out of the taxi and took a few second to compose himself before he entered his parents' house. It was a rather classic suburban house on the outskirt of the city, but his mom completely fell in love with it when she first saw it and they had been living there since Dean was 3. It was surrounded by flowers of all sorts. There was a porch on the front, his grand-father's rocking chair proudly displayed in the middle of it. It was a really beautiful house. A bit too big, he always thought, but his mom loved it, and he was sure his dad already told her about it more than once and even him couldn't convince her otherwise, so he kept that thought to himself most of the time.

He took a big breath and stepped inside. There already were an awful lot of people. He didn't recognize any of them. He looked around and spotted his mom who was already walking toward him. His dad wasn't far behind but he just looked at Dean, seeming as lost as his son was in the middle of all those people, he just waved and snatched a glass of champagne from a young woman who was walking around with a tray in her hand.

"Dean!" His mom exclaimed when she finally reached him. She threw herself in his arms.

"Hey, mom!" He kissed her on the cheek. "Where's Sam?"

She chuckled a bit and put her hand on his cheek.

"You know him… He's so nervous he's locked himself upstairs. Can you go and see how he is?"

"Sure."

He gave a light kiss to her palm and turned around to find the stairs. There were too many people and it took him a few minutes zigzagging between everyone to reach his goal.

Once upstairs, he knocked lightly on the door.

"Sammy?"

The door snatched open and he found himself face to face with his brother. He was looking down at him with crazed eyes.

"Holy shit, Sam, did you sleep at all this month? You look like crap!"

Sam pulled him inside and closed the door behind him.

"It's not funny Dean. You have no idea how stressful it is for me!"

He looked like he was about to burst into tears.

"Isn't the bride supposed to be the crazy one in those situations?"

Sam rolled his eyes and, after looking at himself in the mirror, took off the purple shirt he was wearing and opted for a light red one instead.

"Dude, it's just your bachelor party, who cares what kind of shirt you're wearing?"

Sam huffed at him.

"Yeah, you surely don't." He eyed Dean's plaid shirt.

"I look awesome whatever the shirt, bro." Dean just said. He spotted a comfortable looking armchair and threw himself in it. "Come on, Sam. It's gonna be okay. You look awesome too. Look at me!"

His brother turned to him, a desperate look on his face.

"I'm getting married in a month, Dean, I have a right to feel upset! And… And I don't even know why it's important but I need to find a nice shirt for today 'cause mom invited all those people I don't even know, and you know how she is, you saw her, she's so excited so I really need everything to be perfect and if I look bad in front of her guests I… I don't know…"

"Come here" Dean urged, interrupting him.

Sam stepped closer and Dean pulled him into a hug.

"There. Breathe. you're gonna have a few boring hours with those people, and they're gonna love your shirt or at least pretend they love it. And then you'll have a fun night with your super manly friends and your three-quarter gay brother…" He heard Sam chuckle at that, "And it's gonna be great, I promise." He pushed his brother away and held him at arm's length. "Okay?"

Sam nodded and smiled. "Okay."

They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds.

"You're such a girl." He laughed.

"Jerk." Sam answered with a smile.

"Bitch." Dean replied.

Sam got up from the awkward position he took for the hugging session and turned to the mirror again, this time to fix his hair. Which reminded Dean of something. He took the notebook out of his pocket.

"Sammy, d'you remember the name of the crazy girl who lived next door to us? You know, the one that was so into you it was creepy?"

"Creepy Becky?"

Oh yeah, Creepy Becky. The one who once broke into their house to steal a lock of hair from Sam while he slept.

"Yeah, that one."

"Uh… I don't know… It was… Becky Rosen? I think…"

He stepped away from the mirror and gave himself a final look.

"Ah yes, thank you!" Dean said as he wrote the name down.

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason!" He answered with a smile, quickly hiding the notebook.

Sam raised an eyebrow at him but didn't comment. "Alright then, I'm going down. You coming?"

"Yeah, gimme five minutes!"

Sam nodded and got out of the room. Dean promptly got the notebook out again and started counting the names.

"2…4…8…10…12… Holy shit… 16… 18… 19. I'm at 19. Gosh…"

He didn't have anything to compare his number to, though. He really had to find a way to find out if it was normal or not. Surely, for a guy it wasn't that high, right?

"Let's play a game!" Dean exclaimed, raising his glass as he spoke.

It was a little over midnight, they had left their parents' house a few hours earlier to go to a fancy bar Sam liked, and there were now six of them. Dean, Sam, and four of his friends. They were all fairly drunk by now.

"Dude, a game?" Zach asked, unimpressed.

"Yeah, it's gonna be fun!" Dean went on. "I know a good one! Let's write the number of people we slept with on a piece of paper, then we mix them together and each pull out one and guess whose number it is!"

They all looked at him, dumbfounded.

"Isn't that a bit… girly?" Brady asked.

Sam laughed. Yeah, he was pretty wasted. He didn't drink much, usually.

"Cooooome on!" Dean was really going to regret this but he had to know. "We're all drunk, I'm sure we won't remember it by tomorrow anyway!"

They still had the same expression on their face. Nobody answered.

"Humor me, guys."

"Alright!" Sam said, oscillating a bit on his stool. "But first you offer us the next round."

To emphasize his demand, he emptied his drink in one go.

Dean raised his hands, palms up. "Okay, fair!"

He got up and clumsily found his way to the bar. He hailed the bartender and ordered another bottle of wine, a sheet of paper and a pen. Then he turned around to see what the guys were doing and found himself face to face with Dick. What?

"I didn't think I'd find you here." Dick said, looking surprised. "I'm sorry for today by the way." He smiled his trademark smile.

So annoying.

"Yeah well, I don't usually come here. And thanks but, I'm okay, really." Dean answered as he rested his elbow on the bar and took a nonchalant pose, looking around.

He wasn't sure he saw right but he thought he caught sight of Dick eyeing his butt in his peripheral vision.

Maybe he actually did because, the next time he looked, Dick's smile was completely different. Almost hungry. Ugh. Creepy.

"You know what?" Dick said, that weird smile still on, "Let me buy you these drinks, to make up for today. And maybe in exchange you could give me your number or…"

Dean laughed and gave him his best 'bitch-please' face. The bartender handed him his bottle and the paper and pen he requested.

"Thanks!" He said, holding the bottle up so Dick could see it. And he left to join the guys.

"So!" He said as he sat down between his brother and Rick, "Let's do this!"

He tore the sheet of paper into pieces and handed one to each guy. Then he wrote his number down, folded the piece of paper and put it in the middle of the table. They all did the same.

"Sam, you first"

His brother sighed but took one of the papers anyway.

"Three. Uh, I bet it's you, Brady" He said with a smirk.

"Yeah, well, I'm a gentleman!" His friend answered.

Dean didn't say anything and tried to keep calm. It was just one guy, maybe he was the exception to the rule?

"Okay, your turn, Brady." He said, gesturing toward the papers.

"Hm, six." Brady said, opening the paper he just took. "Out of all of you… Sam?"

"Uh, yeah." Sam answered with a smile.

"It's because you met Jess on you first day of college, you didn't give any chance to the other ladies!" Freddy said, patting him on the back.

"I guess." Sam said, and he smiled turned fond. "Okay, my turn then?"

Dean nodded, felling sweat starting to form on his forehead. This wasn't what he had expected.

"Holy sh- Thirteen?"

"What?"

"Oh my god!"

"Who's a thirteen?" Zach asked, looking around.

"Okay, okay, that's me!" Rick admitted, a proud smile on his face.

They all laughed. Dean tried to laugh too. But he was mostly relieved. Maybe it was just Sam who had weird, sexless friends?

"Hey, a man has needs, what d'ya want me to say?" Rick added.

"But thirteen, man…" Sam said, incredulous. "I'm not even sure Dean could top that!"

Dean tried very hard not to look surprised. An awkward laugh escaped his lips.

"Ah ah… Yeah… I could never-"

"Okay Rick, pick a number!" Sam exclaimed.

He was pretty drunk by now. And he was getting a little more enthusiastic about the game. Dean started praying to any God who would listen to him to please, let Rick chose another number than his.  
_Please, please, please, please, plea-_

"Ni… nineteen?"

They all fell silent. Dean closed his eyes.

"Holyfuckin'shitDeanisthatyours?" He heard Sam blurt out. He opened his eyes.

"Uh… Yeah… I… Hum… It surprised me too, to be honest."

The guys were still looking at him, not talking.

"Is that why we're playing?" Zach suddenly asked.

"Well, yeah… Kinda… I mean, I found this…" He took the article out of his pocket. "It's from a chick magazine, I just wanted to check if it worked for men too… Guess I'm man-slut, uh…"

He tried to shake it off with a laugh but the guys were all looking at him like he just confessed a murder.

"Give me that!" Brady said, taking the article from him. He read the first paragraph and started laughing.

"It says here that most women can't find a husband passed the twentieth hook-up."

Sam started laughing too. They all followed.

"Uh, Dean, I guess you have to be very careful next time you pick someone."

Dean took the article from Brady's hand. He looked at it again.

"Damn…"

"But come on," Zach cut in. "You can't really believe it? It's just a woman magazine… what's it from? Cosmo, seriously…"

Dean looked up at him. He felt miserable. It probably showed on his face.

"I don't know, it was right for the number count so…"

They started boo-ing him.

"No, you know what?" Dean said, suddenly solemn. "I'm gonna say something okay?"

He stood up, his hand slipping a bit on the table as he tried to steady himself.

"Okay everyooone!" He shouted, addressing the whole bar. The guys applauded him. "I have something to say! Hi!" He winked at a barmaid who was walking by behind Sam. "My name is Dean Winchester…." The guys applauded again and woo-'d him. "And I swear, on this day, that the next person I will… uh… take to my bed… Will be the person I marry. Okay?"

Some people in the bar were listening to him, a mocking smile on their faces. The guys cheered him. Some other dudes behind him did too.

"Awesome!" He raised his glass. "To twenty!"

"TO TWENTY!" the guys all yelled. He emptied his glass in one go.

This was good. He felt awesome. He was going to find the love of his life, yep. His next fuck would be the right one and it would make up for his shitty, job-less, uninteresting life.

Perfect.


	2. The Good, the Bad and the Dick

**A/N :** Forgot to mention last time : you can find me on tumblr at .com  
Enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

Dean opened his eyes slowly, trying to remember where he was and what he was supposed to do. Oh yeah, bed. And… Chuck? Was it Chuck? It didn't smell like Chuck. But there was a weight on the bed, next to him. There was an arm on his chest. He opened his eyes. He turned his head.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Dick. His boss Dick. Well, former-boss Dick. Buck-naked. Sleeping next to him.

He checked under the covers. Yep, he was naked as well. His ass felt sore.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

He got up, careful not to make any sound, and went to hide behind the counter of the kitchen so that Dick wouldn't see him freak out through the opening that led to his bedroom. He wished he wasn't renting an open-space apartment right now. He wished he had replaced that fucking missing door to his room. Shit. What was he supposed to do now? He was sporting a severe hangover and his brain wasn't working properly. He felt like he was about to vomit. He wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or from the knowledge he had slept with Dick.

He had slept with Dick!

He heard some noise coming from his room and peeked behind the counter. Dick was up and putting his clothes back on. He had a nice ass, Dean thought suddenly. Even if he was number twenty, maybe it wasn't a bad thing? He stood up. Dick saw him and walked toward him with his annoying smile in place. Yeah, well, maybe it was a bad thing. That guy made every hair on Dean's body stand on end. He couldn't marry that guy, that was crazy. What did he do to the universe to deserve shit like this happening to him?

"Hey…" Dick murmured as he came close to Dean.

"Uh, hey."

Dick came closer and trapped him against the stove. The nausea increased.

"Uh, listen, I… uh… I have things to d-"

Dick interrupted him with a kiss. Gosh, this was so wrong. How was he going to get out of this one?

As if to answer his silent prayer, someone knocked on the door. He slid away from Dick and whispered a heartfelt 'thank you' to whoever was behind the door as he walked toward it.

When he opened it he found himself face to face with his sexy neighbor.

"Hey there!" 6A said. "I'm so sorry to interrupt but…" He let himself in the apartment. "I need to borrow some…" He looked around. "Uh, Cheetos?"

Dean didn't even have the strength to make his face react. "Okay." He just answered. Because what could you possibly say to that?

"Hi!" 6A added, waving at Dick. He looked at Dean again. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company…"

He smirked.

Dick didn't acknowledge him much, he just nodded at him and focused on Dean again.

So Dean had to find something to say. "Uh, like I was saying, I have things to do, hum…"

"It's okay," Dick said, retrieving his jacket and putting it on. "We can see each other again, maybe, tonight?" He smiled. Dean could see all of his teeth. Who the fuck smiled like that?

"Uh I… I can't…I have this… uh…" He made a weird gesture with his hand, as if to explain something that was so obvious he could mime it. But he really didn't know what to say.

"Tenants' meeting." He heard, coming from behind him.

God, if 6A was in front of him he could have kissed him right on the spot.

"Yeah, tenants' meeting, pssh. You know, I can't miss it. It's important. We discuss… like… tenants things and… stuff."

Dick didn't seem annoyed at all. Was he even listening?

"Alright then, you'll call me?" he asked, getting to the door and opening it.

"Y… Yeah, I'll do that."

"Okay."

"Okay…"

When Dick was finally gone, Dean let out a huge sigh as he stared at the empty corridor. He heard 6A laugh and he turned to face him. He was leaning on the kitchen counter and looking at Dean with a playful smile on his lips. He looked sexy even with clothes on. He was wearing sweatpants and an old shirt, but he was still pulling it off right. His hair was all ruffled. It was adorable.

"Thank you." He said, hoping 6A could really feel how relieved he was. "So much! You have no idea."

"Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea. That guy's creepy. How did you manage to…?" He trailed off.

"Uh, man, I don't know, I was at a bar, and then I woke up and he was here and…" He ran a hand through his hair, and a sigh escaped his lips again. "Damn."

A few seconds passed and he remembered he wasn't alone.

"Anyway, what can I do for you?" He asked, a hand still on the open door. Because there was no way his neighbor had invited himself in his apartment for a pack of Cheetos.

6A was about to answer but he was interrupted by the sound of his own door opening. They both turned their head at the same time and Dean saw a guy coming out of 6A's apartment. He turned to face his neighbor but he was nowhere in sight. Well, actually he was hiding behind the couch. Very mature.

"Uh… hum…" He started, looking at the guy with an eyebrow raised.

"My name's Gabriel."

"Right, Gabriel… What's that?" He pointed in the direction the guy had just taken as he left.

Gabriel shrugged.

"I needed an escape too. Figured you could help me out."

He stood up and put his hands in his pants' pockets. They stared at each other for a while. Dean didn't know for how long. It felt nice. He didn't want to stop. Gabriel. What a beautiful name he had. All about that guy was beautiful. But apparently he was a jerk.

"And what about the girl I saw you with?"

"Which one?"

Dean didn't know if he wanted to be impressed or just disgusted. He tried to find a mix of the two and show it on his face.

Gabriel just laughed. "What?"

"Nothing."

"You're totally judging me right now."

"Well, yeah… I mean, I didn't try to follow you around or anything but… I've seen a few girls around your place… Now that guy… I don't know…"

"Listen, uh…" Gabriel gestured at him.

"Dean."

"Listen, Dean. If I want to have some fun that way, what is it to you? I'm not disturbing you, am I? Or maybe you're jealous?" He stuck his tongue out suggestively.

Holy fuck, he was so hot. But no. No, Dean wasn't going to fall for that guy. He said he was going to stay out of the one night stand business once and for all. He already ruined everything with Dick anyway. He had to find a solution so he could settle down. Not sleep with jerks. Even the hottest ones.

"Gosh, no. Okay, I won't judge. Just… Don't use me when you can't get out of it, man."

He went to turn the coffee machine on. But he couldn't keep his eyes away from Gabriel for long.

"I'm sorry?" Gabriel said, hands on his hips. "Who's the one who needed some ass-saving today?"

"Well, today was the exception, okay? You saved my ass, I saved yours, we're even, don't do that again."

"Hey, I thought you were cooler than that… I saw your little speech on youtube last night, it was funny. But you're really not, are you?"

"What? They filmed me? I can't believe it…" He looked at Gabriel with furious eyes. "How did you find it anyway?"

"Got everyone in here on Google Alert. You can never be too careful. My dad taught me that, he was a cop."

"Of course he was…" Dean said, unimpressed. "Is that what you do, too?"

"No! no, no! I just… Live, y'know?" He smiled.

"You 'live'? What does that even mean? "

"Hey, hey… Don't judge!"

"I'm not- I…" Dean sighed. "You're just the weirdest guy I ever met, you know that?"

Gabriel laughed but didn't argue against that. He even looked flattered. "Yeah, I've been told that before…" He smiled.

Finally, he walked to the door. "Anyway, thanks, Dean. See you Later!"

If he thought Dean was going to welcome him every time he needed an excuse to get away from a one-time-only fuck he was really dreaming. Dean just hoped it wasn't the case. He just needed to make himself clear.

"Or not!" He yelled from his spot in the kitchen.

He heard the door close. He was so fucked.

**#**

"My life sucks…" Dean said as he sat heavily in front of his brother.

They took the habit of taking their breakfast together on Saturday mornings, but not in either of their apartments. It wasn't really possible to go to Sam's since Jess was living there – not that Dean didn't like Jess, but he was happy to have his brother to himself from time to time – and they couldn't go to Dean's place because Sam couldn't help himself and started cleaning everything as soon as he stepped in. And Dean hated that. His mess was an organized one. He needed it.

So they had found a little diner at equal distance from both their places and it quickly became a weekly thing. The food there was good, the owners – an old couple from New Jersey – were adorable, and it felt homey.

Today was no different and it made Dean feel a little bit better as soon as he spotted the familiar bony figure of Martha. The little old lady trotted toward him, his favorite dish already in one hand and a pot of coffee in the other.

"There you go, sweetheart." She said, smiling.

She put the plate in front of him and poured him a cup. She smiled at Sam who was already served and left.

"What happened?" Sam asked as he bit into his pancake.

"I slept with my ex boss…" Dean said miserably.

"Your ex boss?"

"Yeah. Dick."

Sam frowned.

"I thought Dick was your current boss."

Dean took a breath before he answered.

"Well, he's not anymore. Fired me yesterday…" He averted his brother's gaze as he spoke and chose to have a staring contest with the bacon in his plate instead.

"Dean…"

He looked up and gave a warning look to Sam. He really didn't need the lecture right now. Sam held his gaze and seemed to think about whether to open his mouth or not. After a few seconds, he just shook his head and started to eat again.

"So you're gonna marry Dick then, congrats." He said instead.

And Dean just froze there, his bacon-full fork halfway to his open mouth.

"Shut up…" He finally mumbled.

"Come on, you'll find someone eventually. Why is it that important now? It's not because I'm getting married, is it?"

"No… Of course not… I just… I don't know, man. I just got fired, I'm single since… forever, I don't have any friends, maybe I want something good coming out of my life, you know? For a change… And when I look at you… Sammy, you're everything I should be, and I see that in Dad's eyes. I feel like it too."

"Dean, don't say things like that…"

"But it's true! You're about to get married, you've been with Jess for, like, what? Eleven years? You're a lawyer…"

"Junior attorney."

"Whatever, dude, you work in a law firm. Look at me. I work in marketing but I don't even know why… I suck at it, I don't really like it. I'm pretty sure soon you'll have a bunch of little-You running around…" Sam blushed. "Of course I envy you… Your life is perfect…"

Sam sighed, ran a hand through his hair.

"I didn't know you felt that way…"

"Yeah well, it's not all the time… It happens…"

He took another mouthful of his breakfast. It was the first time he voiced this feeling he got sometimes. It actually felt good.

"Okay we had our chick flick moment, now I don't want to hear another word about it." He added, when he saw Sam open his mouth, a concern, sympathetic look on his face.

Dean pointed his fork at his brother. "Don't. Even. Try."

Sam raised his hands in defeat and focused on his pancakes again. Dean looked around, trying to avoid his brother's gaze. He knew Sam was trying to find an opening to talk about feelings again. If he avoided eye contact, maybe it would…

He almost jumped on his seat when he saw the woman who was talking to Martha. Tall, brunette, beautiful brown eyes… Absolutely gorgeous… Could that be…? He got up and walked up to her.

"Lisa?"

She looked at him with a puzzled look and it took a few seconds before her eyes went wide.

"Dean? Dean Winchester!"

"I can't believe it's you!"

"Oh my god!"

They hugged awkwardly.

"Wow, Lisa it's been… Forever!" Dean said with a laugh.

He took a good look at her. She was so different now…

"Yeah…" She answered, placing a strand of hair behind her ear. "You… You look good…"

"Yeah, you too! I mean…"

"I know. Got my braces off a long time ago, I worked out…"

Dean laughed again. When they were together, she had teeth problems and at least twenty pounds more. It was a few months after high school. Her car had broken down in front of his house, he helped her out… They were both out of their teenage year and thought it would be a good idea to take an apartment together. As it turned out, it wasn't. They spent their time having sex, eating and drinking a lot. Eventually the eating and drinking took too much of their energy to the point where they didn't even share the bed anymore. It had been the beginning of the end. They threw harsh words at each other all the time until it was too much for the both of them and they each went their separate way. It wasn't pretty.

Which made everything more awkward than it already was, now that Dean thought about it.

A really tall guy came out of the restroom and stopped next to her, looking at Dean expectantly.

"Uh… Dean, this is Aaron, my fiancé." Lisa said. "Aaron, this is Dean. A… Friend."

That hurt. A friend? Really?

"Hi." Dean just said, because he didn't know what to add to that. Why was everything so awkward?

Aaron shook his hand, Dean tried to keep his smile in place. He had to say something, anything…

"So, getting married, uh?"

"Yeah…" Lisa said, smiling at Aaron. They look at each other with so much love it was nauseating. "In a month!" She added as she looked at him again.

"Wow, really? Sam too… You remember Sam?" He pointed at his brother.

She nodded and waved at him with a little smile. Then they all fell silent. Dean kept smiling. His cheeks hurt.

"Well…" He started again, but he couldn't think of anything else to ask. And they didn't look like they wanted to talk to him much anyway. "I'm just gonna… go, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Okay, bye! Have a… cool wedding, or… you know…"

"Thanks Dean."

"Thank you." Aaron added.

Dean laughed awkwardly and walked back to his brother. Well, if it wasn't the most ridiculous conversation he ever had…

"Was it…?"

"Lisa Braeden, yeah. And her fiancé. See, everyone's getting married."

He sat back with a sigh.

"She looks… Great, actually." Sam said, almost surprised. He didn't seem to have heard what Dean just said.

"I know! Can you believe it's the same girl?"

"I guess everybody changes with time, uh?"

Dean nodded. Did he change, too? He didn't think he did. He was still Dean, the guy who didn't know what to do with his life, who liked to fix cars in his spare time, who didn't know where he was going, what the next day would bring. People around him had other expectations, other needs. They all managed to find stability, one after the other. And then, one after the other, they all gave up on him. The people he could call 'friends' now were almost inexistent.

He chased the thought away and looked at Lisa again. She looked happy. She looked different. She _was_ different, really. They had been together so many years ago, Dean almost had trouble remembering it. Like Sam said, time changed people.

And maybe that was it.

It hit him so hard and so suddenly that he felt dizzy for a second. He couldn't hold back the huge smile that appeared on his face.

"What is it now?" Sam said, looking like he was expecting the worst.

"What?" Dean was still looking at Lisa, the idea he just got never leaving his mind, twirling around in his head and making his smile grow with every passing second.

"You have your 'shitty idea' face on… What is it?"

Dean turned to his brother.

"Well, she changed."

"And?"

"She can't be the only one, right? I mean, out of the twenty people I slept with maybe…"

"No, Dean, no. No, no, no, no. I see where you're going. You don't wanna go there. Just… Don't. No."

"Come on, Sam! It' not like I have better things to do anyway!"

Sam gave an exasperated sigh, leaned back in his seat and ran a hand through his hair.

"Sure, you don't. It's not like you need a job or anything!" He said, throwing his arms up in the air.

Dean finished his cup of coffee, the smile still playing on his lips. He got up.

"I am going to do it, Sammy. I'll find every one of those nineteen people, and I'll stalk them if I have to. And I'll find the love of my life without having to go over my number. And there's nothing you can do about it!"

He smiled wider and patted Sam on the head. "Later!" He just said.

And he left the diner.


	3. Pulp fiction

Ugh. This wasn't going anywhere. How did all this crap work? Dean hated computers, he hated the internet, he hated social medias. Shouldn't he have found something by now? He had been at it for hours and he had nothing. He even fell asleep on his keyboard at one point. It was hopeless.

He put his head in his hand, palms over his eyes. This wasn't going anywhere, he needed professional help. But he couldn't hire a detective or anything, not for this… it would be really ridiculous.

He looked up. His stomach made a little rumbling noise to remind him he had skipped dinner last night and it was now time for a well-deserved breakfast. He spotted the pack of Cheetos that was still on his kitchen counter.

No, really, Dean was an idiot. Why didn't he think of this before? Gabriel, of course. Gabriel knew how all that stupid shit worked. And he said his dad was a cop. He knew how to look for people, right?

As if on cue, he heard a door opening in the hall. The voice he heard was low but Dean was sure it was Gabriel. He got up, grabbed the notebook and ran to open his own door.

Gabriel was picking up the morning paper, again completely naked with a towel in hand to cover his crotch.

"Hey! Gabriel, hi!"

"Hey, Dean-o."

Dean stepped closer."Uh, I… hum…" He saw a half-naked girl walk by behind his neighbor. "I'm sorry to bother you when you're… uh… busy, but I really need two minutes of your time, I need to ask you something… if you don't mind…"

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, looking curious.

"Sure. Shoot!"

"Uh see, I really need to find a bunch of people and I don't really know what to do, uh… Since you know how things like that go… I thought maybe I could pay you to find them for me…"

Gabriel's eyebrows almost disappeared in his hairline.

"A bunch of people?"

Dean laughed awkwardly. "It's… Some of my exes, you know… I thought I could… get in touch with them again."

"Why would you want to do something like that?"

He seemed genuinely confused. Dean thought it was kind of cute. But then again, he really had to stop thinking about his neighbor that way. And anyway, why did he need to ask all those questions?

"I just do, okay? Do you want to help me or not?"

Gabriel crossed his arms in front of his chest. Apparently he forgot he was naked. _Don't look down, Dean, don't hurt yourself unnecessarily. _

"Do you have a list of names?" Gabriel asked with a sigh.

Dean handed him the notebook. It was so hard not to look down. Maybe he could just take a peek, it wouldn't be long. He could just look at _it _for a second, appreciate the view, and then he would never have to do it again since the need would be satisfied. Wasn't it psychology or something? He looked down. Oh God. He couldn't take his eyes off of _it_.

"Hm… Sorry I can't help you." Gabriel finally said, handing him the notebook back.

Dean looked up, feeling his cheeks getting hot.

"Uh, why?"

"I just don't want to. Who knows what you're gonna do to these people once you find them? I don't want to get in trouble. Sorry, Dean-o. See ya!"

He walked back in his apartment.

"Wait I-"

The door closed in Dean's face. What a jerk.

As he slowly got back in his apartment, he felt hopelessness come back again. He needed to find these people, why couldn't Gabriel understand? He had to force his neighbor's hand, he had no other choice.

He looked around, trying to come up with an idea. The stupid guy was probably trying to get rid of the woman Dean saw in his apartment by now… And, yes, that was it, obviously. Why was he so slow when it came to Gabriel?

He grabbed his jacket, put it on and ran back to Gabriel's door. He knocked once and opened the door wide, a panicked look on his face.

"Gabriel! Gabriel, oh, thank God you're here!"

Gabriel, half-dressed now, looked surprised but didn't say anything. The girl was wearing one of his shirt from the look of it. Only the shirt. Her face turned red, but Dean ignored it. He didn't have time for decency.

"Quick, we need to go!" Dean exclaimed as he gathered a few random clothes that were lying on the floor.

"Uh, why?" Gabriel asked, a little smile appearing on his face.

He knew, the fucker. Dean needed to think fast.

"There was an accident, no time to explain!" He shoved the clothes in Gabriel's arms while he pushed him in the hall between their doors. "I'm sorry!" He added, turning to the girl. "I'm sure he'll call you, but we really need to go right now!"

She didn't have time to answer; he closed the door on her and ran inside his apartment, pulling Gabriel by an arm. He shoved him inside and closed his own door. Gabriel was laughing.

"There, you're safe for today!" Dean said, hands on his hips. "Now if you agree to help me I can do that for you every time you need it. And like I said, I'll pay you for your help. You just have to say yes. Easy!"

He was a bit out of breath, he realized, so he tried to calm down. He let his arms fall to his sides. Gabriel was still standing in front of him, his clothes in hands, smiling.

"I have to give it to you, Dean-o, that was ballsy." He threw the clothes on the floor and started walking around, taking a look. "This place is _really_ nice…"

Dean sighed. "And you can come and hide in here sometimes too."

Gabriel's smile widened. "See, I knew we were going to be good friends!" He threw himself on the couch. "What've you got for me?"

Dean felt a shiver of relief run through his entire body. He went to his desk to fetch a more extensive list he made during the night with all the little pieces of information he could find – as it was : not much, but at least he had found a thing or two - and gave it to Gabriel as he sat next to him.

"Castiel Novak?" Gabriel asked, a note of surprise in his voice. "_The_ Castiel Novak?"

"Uh, I guess…" Dean shrugged. "I know his dad is a big deal, we dated when we were really young. I don't know much about him now…"

One of Gabriel's eyebrow rose as he look at Dean with an unimpressed look. "A big deal, yeah. More like THE big deal. You really are clueless about the most simple things… It's kind of amazing."

Dean felt himself blush and looked away.

"I'm not into politics…"

"Me neither, no biggie. Just sayin'… It doesn't hurt to know a name or two…"

"Who's being judgmental now?"

Gabriel laughed, looking a bit embarrassed. "Uh, yeah, sorry…" He focused on the list again, his eyes moving as he read.

They weren't actually golden, his eyes, Dean thought suddenly. They were kind of light green, with a touch of yellow here and there. But they were always sparkling with a hint of mischievous intent. It was fascinating. Right now Gabriel was focusing on the names and Dean could almost feel the wheels in his brain turn. He felt like he could watch him like this all day and still want more by the end of it.

"Uh, that's not much." Gabriel said, folding the list. "But I guess I have enough to get started." He looked up.

"Uh… Thanks."

"But if you want me fully efficient, you need to feed me" He added, wriggling his eyebrows in a way that made Dean's stomach drop a few inches.

Dean tried to look annoyed. He grabbed the pack of Cheetos and threw it at Gabriel. "Now go work!"

Gabriel laughed. "All right, I'll leave you alone." He stood up and stretched his arms. "You sure you want to dig into that old list, though? Wouldn't you rather try something new?"

"I'd rather check to see if I didn't miss anything first… And I'm pretty sure I tried anything there was to try anyway so…"

Gabriel was still smiling, listening to Dean with a huge grin on his face as he walked to the door. "You're only saying that because you haven't tried me!" He winked.

"And I don't intend to." Dean answered, wondering how he could look so detached when he felt himself melt inside.

Gabriel was already out in the hallway. "Sure!" Dean heard him say.

And he was gone, just like that. Dean really hoped asking him for help was a good idea…

**#**

"_You still don't have a date for the wedding? Mom is going to be so mad_…" The voice at the other end of the phone yelled.

"Calm down, Sammy…" Dean answered. He tried to hold the exasperated sigh that wanted to come out of his mouth. His brother didn't need anything to piss him off even more. "I'm looking, okay?"

"_You won't let go of that stupid idea of yours…_"

"Nope, and I've got someone to help me. I don't think you ever saw the guy… Gabriel, my neighbor?"

There was a silence at the other end of the line.

"A bit smaller than me, kind of blond, sexy?"

Still no answer. Dean took it as a 'no'. Sam was probably really, really stressed out, or pissed, or both.

"Anyway…" Dean went on. "He's helping me. He knows all those technical stuff. I'm heading his way right now, he found someone… Meg, you remember her?"

He thought he heard Sam choke at the mention of the name. Weird.

"_Uh… Are you sure you want to see her again?_"

"Yes, why not? It was fun!"

"_Fun? That's not how you described it when you came to me crying, and when I asked you what happened you said it was because she threw all your best records by her window when she kicked you out_. _I remember asking you what was so terrible about it because your taste in music is terrible, then you saying it wasn't just that but refusing to tell me more about it. I assumed it was pretty bad_."

"Yeah, well… We were young, we fought… It happens, you know? I don't remember any of it now so it surely wasn't that bad!"

Sam didn't answer. Dean imagined he was probably rolling his eyes, and possibly trying not to come over and punch him in the face. It was time to hang up then.

"Okay, I need to go now, call you back later okay?"

"_Sure… Tell me how it went…_"

Dean laughed and hung up. But really, he didn't remember Meg being so bad. He really didn't see what Sam was so afraid of.

**#**

Dean finally found the place after twenty minutes of walking around the same block, trying to find the 'little alley with the purple light at the end' that Gabriel described. From the outside, it looked like a whorehouse, especially in the dark. Not that Dean had seen a whorehouse before, but if he had to describe one to someone he would probably choose this place. The inside wasn't better. It was dark, the tables were only lit by little purple lamps and he even spotted some polls in the back. He saw a half-naked girl take an old guy by the arm and take him behind a curtain on the side of the room. What the fuck was that place? Did Meg really work here? God, he hoped he wouldn't have to pay to be able to see her. She would probably turn him down right there if she thought he was a guy who did that kind of thing.

Gabriel was sitting in a booth not too far away from the bar. Dean walked up to him and sat down heavily.

"I hope it's going to be worth it because the road was hell!"

Gabriel smiled at him while sipping at his drink. He didn't say anything but pointed at the bar. Dean turned around.

He recognized her, alright. Short little thing with long brown hair behind the bar, yep, that was Meg. She hadn't change. Not one bit. Which felt a little weird, to be honest.

"Go get her, tiger!" Gabriel just said, shooing him away with a little wave of his hand.

Dean stared at him for a second, wondering what that little smile was all about. It felt suspicious. He stood up, reluctantly, and headed toward the bar. Meg was laughing with one of the drunkard in front of her. She spotted him and the smile on her face widened.

"What can I do for you, sweetheart?" She asked, leaning on the bar so that he had a nice view on her breasts.

"Uh… Meg?"

She looked surprised. "Yeah?"

"It's me, Dean Winchester."

The expression on her face didn't change. She seemed to be thinking about his name, trying to know where she heard it before. At last she seemed to remember, and she burst out laughing.

"Dean! Yes… My! Look at you." She eyed him from head to toe. "I hope you feel better, now…"

Dean had no idea what she was talking about but the predatory smile that appeared on her face made him think it wasn't anything good.

"Uh… I guess…" He felt silly for not remembering but he just thought he'd try to engage a conversation and it would probably come back to him as they talked. "So… How are you?"

She stretched and took the nearest bottle behind her.

"Good, good!" She said as she poured a drink. She handed it to him. "On me. For Old days' sake…"

Her smile was warm again, and Dean felt himself relax. He sat on the stool next to him. "Still a barmaid then?"

She frowned a little but kept smiling. "I like 'bartender' better."

Dean laughed. "Sorry… Still a Bartender?"

"Yep!" She said as she poured herself a drink and put the bottle back under the bar. "It's a nice job, and this place is cool. What do _you_ do?"

"Uh… I work in marketing… Well… Worked… Now I'm not sure what I'm going to do to be honest…"

She laughed, looking surprised. "Marketing? You? How come?"

"Uh… I honestly don't know…" He took a sip of his drink. Bourbon. His favorite brand. Nice.

"So you basically answer the phone and get yelled at by people?"

He scoffed. "Yeah, something like that…"

"Yeah, well, it kinda suits you…" She raised the glass to her mouth. "You seemed like the kind of guy who liked to take orders from what I can remember…" She added with a secretive smile.

Dean had an inkling that she was talking about something he should remember, and probably feel bad about, but he really couldn't find what it was. It was so frustrating!

He smiled awkwardly.

She opened her mouth to say something else but she was interrupted by a big, bald guy – security, Dean guessed – who came out of the kitchen door.

"I got someone for you, Meg."

She nodded and turned to Dean again. "Sorry hot stuff, I have to go!" She emptied her drink in one go. "My shift ends at 2, will you still be here? We could… catch up?"

Well, it wasn't that difficult, was it?

"Sure! Yeah! See you later then!"

She smiled as she turned to follow the big guy. "Move it, boy!" She ordered in a commanding voice as she slapped his butt.

And then, out of the blue, Dean remembered. He remembered why he was crying when he got back to Sam. And he remembered what he didn't want to talk about with him and why she had been making innuendos all this time. How could he forget something like that?!

His eyes widened and he almost ran back to Gabriel.

"We have to go, now. Come on, move it!" He urged, pulling him by an arm.

Gabriel laughed. "Wow, Dean-o, what happened? Is she that bad?"

"We have to get out of here before she locks me up for good!"

"What?" The bastard was still laughing his ass off.

Dean kept pulling at Gabriel's arm until they were safely outside. He let go then, but kept walking as fast as he could to get out of the alley.

"You knew…" Dean said, not daring to look his neighbor in the eyes.

Gabriel was walking, his hands in his pockets, looking completely relax and not at all guilty. "I saw the website…"

"She has a… Yeah, obviously she does, now…"

"So she… to you?"

Dean sighed. So he really had to talk about it with someone now, didn't he? He nodded.

"I was twenty when we went out together… I didn't… I had no idea she was into BDSM stuff… I… One night we took some things… Acids… And then it was three days later and I woke up chained up to a cellar wall, covered in bruises… It scared the shit out of me, and I just remember her saying a few things… She really seemed to enjoy it, though… I should have…" He ran a hand through his hair but still avoided Gabriel's eyes. "I don't know why I didn't remember right away…" He added, feeling himself blush.

He heard Gabriel chuckle. "Did you enjoy it, too?"

Dean finally looked at him and gave him a dirty look. "I don't remember…" He mumbled.

"Well, I'd say if you held on for three days, you probably liked it a little…"

"Shut up…"

They walked in silence for a while, Dean thought it was nice. He never found someone like this before. Someone to feel comfortable with, even without saying anything to each other. With Gabriel, he never felt the need to find something to say, or something to do even. Sometimes, as they were looking for Dean's exes, they would just stop for a minute, take a break, just sitting on the couch, saying nothing, and it always felt right. It was weird the first couple of days, but now he found himself looking forward to these little moments when they could just be in each other's presence and enjoy it.

"You know, exes are usually exes for a reason…" Gabriel suddenly said. "I don't see why you're doing that to yourself…"

"I just want to see if I didn't miss anything…"

"Yeah you already said that. I don't believe you. There must be something else."

He stared at Dean, raising his eyebrows as if to say 'go on, spill it out, I'm waiting!'. Dean held on for a second but then it felt too much like being scolded by his mom. When he was little, she often gave him the exact same look when she knew he was lying and she wanted him to tell her the truth.

"I don't wanna raise my number, okay?" He said, looking away.

Gabriel blinked in disbelief. "You what?" For a second there Dean didn't know if he was going to slap him or hug him. "Seriously? Is that it?" He huffed out a laugh. "That's so… I don't have a word… Dean, oh my god…" He started laughing hysterically.

Dean didn't answer and tried to walk faster, but Gabriel was keeping up with him and his laugh got louder and louder. Finally, Dean looked at him and started laughing too.

He realized then, that even if his day sucked – again, like every other day this week – he didn't mind one bit. Right now, he was happy.

Was that weird?


	4. Dirty dancing

"Sooo… Fergus McLeod!"

They were walking down a street together, Dean had just bought Gabriel a sandwich and now they were going to see the next name on the list. Dean wasn't hungry, though. He was a bit anxious about meeting this one. He hoped he wouldn't get any nasty surprise, like the one he got a few days ago. But Gabriel had insisted they go out and had asked for lunch (because you apparently didn't get any money from just 'living', so Dean had to pay for everything), and here they were.

"Who?"

Dean didn't remember dating anyone called 'Fergus'. He would have noticed, surely. Gabriel rolled his eyes at him.

"Crowley!"

"Crowley's name is Fergus?" He couldn't believe that.

"Yeah, well, 'Crowley' is a nickname. Do you ever ask questions to people you date?"

It was rich coming from Gabriel. Dean sneered. "Because you do?"

"I don't do dates, remember? But sometimes yes, I do. I'm not a monster."

Dean just laughed at that. Suddenly, they stopped in front of a huge, beautiful old house and Gabriel just pointed at it. "This is it! He should be here, doing some visits I guess… That's what realtors do, right?"

Dean nodded. "I guess… How did you know we'd find him here?"

Gabriel looked away. "You probably don't wanna know…"

"Okay…"

They had agreed to come see the house and pretend they wanted to buy it, so that they could approach Crowley with a good excuse. Dean wasn't sure how it was going to go, but it was the only plan they had so far. The only problem was that Gabriel had insisted they stop at that 'awesome music store' near the sandwich shop, (_"You're going to love it, Dean, I swear, just a little detour!"_)and now it was already late in the afternoon. There was no guarantee anybody was still in there…

He gave a look at the house and his heart skipped a beat. Why was he so nervous? He knew he couldn't forget something like what happened with Meg twice, so really, what did he have to fear? From what he remembered, being with Crowley had been nice. Dean had only bailed on the guy because of one little lie he had told that was beginning to be problematic at the time, but now, years after, Crowley wouldn't remember. Or so Dean hoped.

He let out a huge breathe. Gabriel looked at him, a fond smile on his face.

"Aaaw, Dean, don't be scared!" He said, patting Dean on the back. "I promise I didn't hide anything from you this time. I'm pretty sure I know everything about that guy, no nasty surprise, I swear."

Dean glanced at him, anxious.

"Okay, maybe I hid one little thing..." Dean's heart jumped again. "No, no!" Gabriel added. "Don't look at me like that, it's nothing bad. It's just…"

Dean could see he was trying to hide a laugh. "What?!" He asked, louder than he intended. He felt himself starting to panic.

"It's just… I don't know, Dean, I don't wanna ruin everything for you but…"

"Gabe, I swear to god, tell me what it is, I feel like I'm going to explode here!"

Gabriel started to laugh, apparently unable to control himself. "It's… okay, well. Are you ready for this?"

Dean nodded, a furious look on his face. "Go on before I strangle you."

"Okay, okay… The people who work with him… His colleagues… They call him…" He laughed again.

"Gabe…"

"Lucky the Leprechaun!" Gabriel blurted out.

Dean glared at him. "Is that it?"

He turned his back on Gabriel, feeling that if he looked at him a while longer he was probably going to punch him in the face. "It's because he's Irish, do you get it?" He heard coming from behind him. That guy was such a child sometimes…

"He's not Iri- It's not funny!" Dean said, gritting his teeth. He closed his eyes and tried to focus again. Sometimes he really forgot why he did all this. He needed to remember what was at stake here! And why couldn't Gabriel behave like an adult? Dean felt so pissed at him he wouldn't have been surprised if smoke started coming out of his nostrils in the next few seconds.

Gabriel was still laughing, but he suddenly stopped and elbowed Dean in the ribs.

"Ow! What the…"

"He's here, Dean!"

Dean truly felt his Heart stop this time. He turned around as quick as he could, all trace of anger gone. Crowley was getting out of the house with a young couple. The guy shook Crowley's hand, a huge smile on his face. Crowley was smiling too but it rather looked like he was about to eat them both. The couple seemed to thank Crowley one last time and they went away, disappearing into a Pastry shop not far away.

He was still as hot as Dean remembered, in his own, weird, British way. He wasn't sure Crowley was good wedding material, but Dean could at least get something good out of this if it didn't work out…

Gabriel pushed Dean and they started to walk in Crowley's direction, looking at the house as if they were interested in buying it. Gabriel even had a flyer describing the open House procedure in his hand, God only knew where he found it. When they were only a couple of feet away, Crowley noticed them. Or at least he noticed Dean. He smiled, surprised.

"Well, well, well… Isn't that Dean Winchester…" He said, a playful tone to his voice.

Dean felt Gabriel's hand punching his back.

"Uh… Crowley! Well… That's… That's a surprise!"

Gabriel sighed. Dean ignored him.

"Hum… This is my…Uh… My… Cousin, Gabriel!"

"Hi." Crowley just said, eyeing Gabriel from head to toe.

"Hey!" Gabriel said. He had the kind of smile that meant he was laughing at Dean and enjoying it very much.

"So, what brings you here, Dean?" Crowley asked.

At least he seemed happy to see him, Dean thought. That was a good point. Then he remembered he had to say something. '_Stick to the plan'_ Gabriel had said… The plan… Dean started to panic. He didn't think he would actually have to find an excuse for being here in the first place! They was no other plan than to go inside the house and pretend they found it pretty. They hadn't _planned_ running into Crowley_ outside_ of it! _Shit!_

"Oh, hum… I'm looking for… for a house. For my brother! Yeah… He's getting married so…"

"And he sent you to find him and his fiancée a house?"

Gabriel was unable to contain the laugh that escaped his mouth. "Yeah, they have that awkwardly co-dependent relationship…" He just said to justify himself.

What was he doing? Dean gave him a mean look and turned to Crowley again.

"Anyway, Gabriel was about to leave and hum… well it's a bit late for a visit of the house I guess, but… I have some free time right now… Maybe we can… grab a drink or…"

Crowley's smile widened. He probably wasn't buying the 'I came to buy a house' thing, but he didn't seem to mind. Dean felt the panic slowly disappear.

"Sure… Why not? "

Dean smiled. It worked. This one couldn't fail, really. He and Crowley stared in each other's eyes for a while, until Dean realized Gabriel was still here, a dumb smile on his face.

"Gabe… Don't you need to go?" Dean asked, trying to subtly make him go away.

"No." Gabriel said, still smiling.

"Really? I'm pretty sure you're going to be late for your… thing."

"My thing?"

"Your thing yes. You know…" Dean tried to make his message clear. But it's was hard with only a look.

Gabriel smiled even more, it seemed, but he finally moved. "Oh yeah, I just remembered, sorry! I'll leave you two alone now… Have fun!"

Dean kept his eyes on him until he was sure he wasn't coming back. When it seemed that Gabriel was gone for good, he gave Crowley his brightest, flirtiest smile.

"So, drink?"

**#**

"… And I fell asleep on her, oh my god!" Dean laughed. "Wow… Yeah I remember now… I'm sorry about that!" He added sheepishly, taking a sip of his drink.

Crowley laughed as he put his own drink on the table. "It's okay, we were both fairly drunk that night…"

Dean smiled. "Yeah…"

They were sitting in a little pub that Crowley was apparently fond of, and they had been discussing their time together for a little over two hours now. Dean felt good. He had had a couple of drinks already, and he could feel the gentle buzz of the alcohol running through him. Everything was going great.

"So…" Crowley said, leaning into Dean's space. "It's getting dark outside… Maybe you'd like to come to my place?"

He put his hand on Dean's knee. Dean laughed. Yeah, it was more than great.

"Sure…" He whispered his throat suddenly dry with anticipation.

He emptied his drink and got up. Crowley smiled wider. "You don't mind walking, do you?" He asked Dean as he slipped his jacket back on.

"No, not at all…"

They didn't talk as they were walking to reach Crowley's apartment, but it didn't bother Dean. His mind was full of all the things that could happen once they'd get there. He could feel a nice little ball of warmth gathering in his stomach. It wasn't fear, it was excitement. He just couldn't wait. After the last few days, he was finally going to succeed. He felt awesome.

It didn't last as long as Dean would have thought, and less than fifteen minutes later they were in front of the door. Crowley got the keys out of his pocket and started opening it. He suddenly stopped and turned to look at Dean, a cheeky smile on his face.

"So, Dean… Do you still dance?"

Dean blinked at him. What? Dance? Why would he- And then he remembered. Yes, the lie. So Crowley had to bring that back, uh? It all came from the day they first met. Dean was sitting at a bar when Crowley had come and offered him a drink. They had started to chat, and Crowley told him all about his job, and how he was tired of all the office shit he had to deal with on a daily basis. Dean had had a little too much to drink that night, and, wanting too much to get into Crowley's pants to let the opportunity pass, he had panicked and lied when Crowley suddenly asked him what he was doing for a living. Not wanting to tell him he was working an office job and risking to see Crowley go away, he had told him he was an exotic dancer. It proved to be half a good idea at the time, since Crowley got even more interested in Dean, and Dean quickly found himself making up a load of bullshit regarding the circumstances of his work. So, yeah, Crowley thought he was an expert in pole dancing. Well… There was no harm in perpetuating this little lie, right? It wasn't like they were close to a pole anyway. At worse, Crowley would ask for a sexy dance or something, and Dean thought he was at least capable of that.

"Uh, yeah…" He answered with what he hoped looked like a self-assured smile.

"Good… Then I have a little surprise for you…" Crowley said as he opened the door.

Dean followed him inside, suddenly scared. A surprise? He didn't like surprises. He hated them. What was going to happen this time?

It was really dark inside the apartment, but Crowley grabbed his hand and guided him toward what seemed to be the living room. He then let go of Dean, threw his jacket on the couch and headed for something in front of them. Dean couldn't see what was happening. He hoped it wasn't going to ruin the night. He heard the distinctive sound of a light switch being pushed and everything lit up in front of him. It was so sudden he closed his eyes for a second. What he saw when he opened them was certainly not something he was expecting tonight.

There was an actual mini-stage in the middle of the living room, only lit by red neon lights. In the middle of it stood a transparent dance pole that shone red and blue. It seemed to be made of glass.

Dean lost the ability to speak or even think for a second.

"What do you think?" Crowley asked as he got close to Dean.

Dean just stared at the pole. He was in deep shit. "It's… uh…" He cleared his throat. "It's nice."

Crowley got closer and grabbed him by the hips. "How about you give me a private show tonight, boy?" He whispered, his mouth on Dean's neck.

Dean tried to smile, or laugh, or both. A whine escaped his lips. "I uh…" He could feel Crowley getting hard already.

Well, Dean still wanted to get into the guy's pants as bad as he did a few years ago so… It was probably worth a few minutes of awkward pole dancing for a whole night of fun, right?

"It'll be my pleasure" He answered against Crowley's mouth.

If strippers could do it, Dean surely could too, he told himself. He had seen some shows in the past, so he kind of knew the basics. He kissed Crowley and pushed him on the couch, feeling suddenly bold. He was rewarded by the most lustful smile he ever saw, and quickly got to the pole. Not knowing what to do, he slowly caressed the thing while trying to come up with something. He still had a lot of clothes on, didn't he? He took his shirt off, trying to look as hot as possible. He threw it in Crowley's direction and grabbed the pole again. So… Now… Maybe grinding against it would work? He tried it and Crowley's hungry smile grew bigger. Yes, it was good… Well… It felt a little bit empty though, something was missing…

"It would help with some music on…" He said, keeping his sexy grin on.

Crowley laughed. "Sure." He grabbed a remote controller that sat on the coffee table in front of him and pressed a button. Some smooth jazz song came on. He settled back on the couch.

"Please, go on."

Dean smiled, but he was starting to feel really bad. He needed to put on a great show or else Crowley would know something was off. If he learnt Dean had lied now, they wouldn't be any fun later.

He let himself slide on the pole until he was crouching in front of it, his knees far apart each other and his crotch painfully pressed against the glass. Then, having nothing better to do, he slid upward.

He felt ridiculous. But…

It was now or never. He had to do something impressive. He lifted a little weight from time to time, there was no reason he couldn't lift himself. He turned around the pole once, twice, holding it with both his hands, and then jumped, trying to lift his legs above his head and grabbing the bar with his feet.

It was a huge mistake.

One of his hands slipped from the pole, he fell and hit his head on the floor. He couldn't see anything anymore. White stars were dancing behind his eyelids and he felt like his head was about to explode.

"Are you okay?!" He heard Crowley ask, a note of panic in his voice. But it felt like all the noises were coming from so far away…

The music stopped and he felt hands helping him sit. He opened his eyes.

"Uh… I… I think so I… Oh god…"

His stomach made a weird noise and he leaned forward, trying to keep the drinks he had earlier inside his body.

"Hm… I think you need to get to the hospital…" Crowley said, his voice barely audible.

Dean felt his cheeks get hot. Everything was ruined now. It was the most embarrassing moment of his life, for sure. Crowley helped him get on his feet, and checked his head for injuries.

"You're not bleeding."

"Uh… Okay…" Dean mumbled, avoiding eye contact. "I… uh… I'm gonna g-"

His stomach interrupted him with a loud rumbling noise and before he could even realize what was happening he was throwing up on Crowley's shoes.

He suddenly felt his cheeks get hotter if it was even possible, and his vision blurred. He felt like he was being burnt alive. It was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to him. He didn't know how to react. Seconds felt like hours, noises sounded weird, oddly distant, as if he was underwater, everything felt surreal. He suddenly felt so nervous he wasn't sure if he was going to burst out crying or laughing. Gabriel would really enjoy himself if he was here. He would laugh so hard. Dean wasn't sure he wanted anybody to know what was happening right now. He didn't know what to do. He had to leave…

"I'm so, so sorry… I…"

Oh yes, Gabriel would laugh. Just like this afternoon. Just like when he told Dean people called Crowley 'Lucky the Leprechaun'. And as if it couldn't possibly get worse, Dean started laughing at the thought. Really, it was a funny name! He got it now. Or maybe it was the nerves?

"Get out…" Crowley almost growled.

Dean didn't need to be told twice, and he ran all the way to his apartment.

**#**

"Oh my god somebody help me I can't breathe!" Gabriel uttered between laughs.

They were both waiting in the ER of the closest hospital they could find, and Dean had just told Gabriel the whole story. When he first got to the apartment he had refused to tell him anything beside the fact that he had hurt his head. Gabriel wouldn't leave him alone though, wanting to know everything about the night, but he had quickly realized he needed to take Dean to the hospital when Dean emptied his stomach three times in less than thirty minutes.

So, now that they were here and that the nurse taking care of the waiting room had given him something to settle his stomach, he figured it would at least pass the time to tell Gabriel about it.

"Shut up…" Dean tried to sound angry but he just felt drained and his head ached.

"Oh, Dean…" Gabriel said, still shaking with silent laughter. "Come here!"

He grabbed Dean's arms and pulled him into a hug. Dean felt his eyes getting wet. What the fuck was happening? "Okay, let me go now or I'm gonna cry…"

Gabriel let go of him but still kept close. His shoulder was brushing Dean's, but it felt more reassuring than awkward, really. Dean liked it. He let his head fall on Gabriel's shoulder.

"I feel weird…"

"You know what the nurse said, it's probably a concussion. It's fine. Just don't fall asleep."

"Do you really think I can sleep after what happened?" Dean answered as he closed his eyes.

Gabriel started laughing again. "Don't remind me."

"I knew you would make fun of me…"

"Is that surprising? It's like you're doing things on purpose to entertain me." Dean felt Gabriel's hand run through his hair. "You're the funniest person I've ever met, and you're not even trying that hard…"

There was a moment of silence between the two of them, the only noises Dean could hear were the nurses chatting happily in the little cubicle behind him, and some whispers coming from the other patients in front of them. Gabriel kept touching his hair. And despite all of what had happened tonight, it felt perfect. It felt like this moment should never end, that it was just how people should interact with each other all the time. He wondered why he never found a friend like Gabriel before. He felt so happy right now…

"Dean Winchester?" A male voice called.

Gabriel elbowed him gently and he opened his eyes, straightening up. A middle-aged blond guy in a white coat was looking at him, smiling. "M. Winchester?" Dean nodded. "I'm Doctor Cole. Will you come with me please?"

**#**

Fifteen hours later, they were back on Dean's couch. The doctor had insisted they kept him for the night, as a precaution. And, of course, Gabriel had insisted he stayed with Dean just to be sure everything was fine. Dean slept a little, but it hadn't been a peaceful sleep. Gabriel had slept on an uncomfortable chair by Dean's bed, in the middle of the ER room, meaning he didn't get much rest either. The little curtain that shielded them from view didn't help keeping away the cries of the sick baby in the bed next to Dean's.

So, after a crappy night like this one, it felt good to just sit there, slouching against each other. Dean just wanted to sleep, or maybe take a bath.

"I don't know what to do…" He mumbled aloud.

"Shut your mouth and close your eyes…" Gabriel answered.

"Okay…"

A few minutes passed. Dean's back started to hurt. He slowly slid on his side until his head hit a pillow. Better…

"Gimme some space…" He heard Gabriel whisper. He felt him settle behind his back. It would have been anyone else, it would have felt awkward. But as with everything when it came to Gabriel, it didn't, and it was awesome.

He felt Gabriel's arm land gently on his stomach. He was warm and contented, and, most importantly, so comfortable it felt like he was sleeping in the arms of an angel, but something was keeping him awake. He was so ashamed of what had happen with Crowley… He would probably never be able to forget it… He sighed.

"What now?" Gabriel asked, squeezing his stomach. "Can't you sleep already?"

"No…"

It was Gabriel's turn to sigh. "Is it because of Crowley?"

Dean made an affirmative noise. "ah, come on now…" Gabriel whispered. He lifted his hand from Dean's stomach and started playing with his hair again. "Just sleep, we'll cross his name off the list tomorrow, and you'll forget about him…"

"I don't see how I can forget something like that…" Dean felt Gabriel holding a laugh behind him. He decided it was best to change the subject. "And why are you the big spoon? You're smaller than me… I feel like a gir-"

"Shut up Dean."

"… Fine."

"Good night."

" 'Night…"

Dean fell asleep right away.


	5. Child's play

"Uh…Gabriel?" Dean whispered.

He had woken up a few minutes ago, still tightly pressed against Gabriel, and he was starting to get really embarrassed. Gabriel's arm on his stomach relaxed a little.

"Hm?"

"You awake?"

"Why?"

Dean cleared his throat.

"Is that a hard-on I feel on my ass?" He asked. There was no reason to try and be subtle about it.

"Yeah… Sorry…" Gabriel answered sleepily. But he didn't move.

"We only met like… not even two weeks ago, dude… I mean… I know it's a lot for you, it probably _is_ the longest relationship you ever had in your entire life but-" Gabriel interrupted him by putting his hand on Dean's mouth.

"Relax, I just had a nice dream, that's all…" He yawned. " 's gonna go away in a few minutes…"

He let go of Dean's mouth and fell silent again. Dean didn't dare move. He didn't know why. He waited for what seemed to be two minutes. Gabriel was still hard.

"Did you fall asleep again?"

He heard Gabriel sigh. "It's just a boner, Dean. If you fear for your virginity you can always go sleep in your own bed."

"I don't… Fear for my…ugh…" He decided it wasn't a good idea to argue about erections with Gabriel when they had just slept on the same couch all night, spooning each other as if they were a newlywed couple, so he just let it go and got up.

Coffee would be a good idea right now. He headed for the coffee machine and realized he didn't have any coffee left. But he'd just bought a pack a week ago?

"I can't believe you… Did you drink all my coffee and didn't tell me about it?"

"Sorry…" He heard coming from the couch.

Dean closed his eyes for a second, trying not to get too mad. Gabriel had been staying with him for almost two days now, after the Crowley fiasco. Dean had to wait a bit before he could yell at him without feeling guilty.

He walked to his room, found an old pair of sweat pants and a decent shirt (meaning one that didn't smell) and put them on.

"Gonna go buy some coffee… You want something?"

"Nah…"

"You better be up when I come back… We have work to do!" Dean said as he reached the door.

"Hm…"

"Later then!"

**#**

When Dean got back home, Gabriel was nowhere in sight. He decided to make some coffee while waiting for him to come back. He probably went into his own apartment, to change clothes maybe…

While the coffee was brewing, he suddenly felt the need to take a leak. He got to the bathroom, opened the door and came face to face with Gabriel. Naked. Again. At least he was inside this time.

"What are you doing?"

"As you can see, the boner is gone!" Gabriel said with a smirk.

Dean looked, like the idiot he was. He quickly turned away. "I don't… Why are you naked in my bathroom?!"

"Calm down, I just took a shower."

"Are you shitting me? Your place is literally two steps away from mine!"

"You're bathtub looked better than mine. I wanted to try it."

Dean gave him his best bitch face and got out of the bathroom.

"Get your ass out of here and tell me what other names you got." He said as he walked to the couch.

He sat down heavily and crossed his arms on his chest.

"Why do you want to get back to it so fast?" Gabriel asked from behind the half opened door.

He finally came back to the living room wearing only the same pair of sweatpants he had been wearing for days now.

"Because I want something good to happen, and I want it to happen fast. Come on!"

Dean patted the space next to him on the couch. Gabe sighed but took the pile of papers that were laid on the coffee table and sat next to him.

"Okay…" He scratched his head, looking at the list in his hand. "Well… There's this guy that goes by the name of Garth?"

Dean gave him a questioning look.

"You met at a… uh… Cow-boy party? What is that?"

Oh, right… That guy.

"Don't ask…"

"Uh, okay… So he's not in the city per say but-"

Dean took one of the sheets from his hand. "I don't care about that guy. I want Castiel! Did you find him?"

"Uh… No, he's… wait." He looked through his papers and took one of them out. "He's in Japan."

"Japan?"

"Yep. Business trip for his dad's company. He won't be back for a while apparently… Hm. I don't have any return date here…"

Dean sighed. He had been thinking about Castiel Novak since he had found a picture of him on the internet a few days before. He had grown up to be a really handsome guy. Still had the same big blue eyes that gave Dean shivers.

"But I've got a Becky Rosen if you're interested?"

"Ugh… Creepy Becky. Do I have to?"

Gabriel looked fed up. "I don't have anything else for now, I need time you know. What's so bad about her? She has her own business and she looks… okay."

He frowned at his papers and looked up at Dean.

"Uh, okay… I'll see her. Can't hurt me, right?"

Gabriel finally smiled. "Good! So we'll meet in front of her shop tomorrow at uh… Let's say three?"

"Okay."

Gabe stood up, his stack of papers tucked under one arm. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

He winked at Dean who just smiled in return and he left.

So, Creepy Becky it was this time. Dean really hoped it was going to go fine.

**#**

Dean gave a quick look at his wristwatch. Gabriel was a few minutes late. He mentally cursed the guy. He had made him come here, he didn't even want to see Becky actually. He didn't know why he had said yes to this. This was crazy.

He sighed and kicked a piece of rock he noticed on the floor.

"Dean!"

He turned around and saw Gabriel walking in his direction, holding the hand of a… a child? What was happening?

He kept staring at the kid until they finally reached him.

"What's that?" He asked.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him.

"Don't be mean, Dean. This is my nephew, Ezekiel. Say hello to Dean, Zeke."

The little kid, who looked to be about ten, gave Dean an annoyed look.

"Hello…" He mumbled.

Gabriel let go of Zeke's hand and Zeke walked away, stopping in front of the shop's window.

"Why is he here?" Dean whispered.

The kid didn't even look happy to be here.

"This is a toy store, what did you expect? We're two fully grown men; we can't go in without bringing a child."

It made sense. Dean was really glad he wasn't alone in this. It would have been so much worse.

"Okay… Well let's go already…"

"Nuh-uh." Gabe said, shaking his head. "You take Zeke, you go in. He knows what he has to do, I explained everything to him on the way. Go!"

Dean gave a quick look in the kid's direction and stared at Gabriel again.

"I'm really not good with kids…"

Gabriel didn't answer, he just pushed him toward the door. "Go!"

So finally Dean obliged, he took little Zeke's hand and went in. The little bell above the door rang and echoed in the silent shop. There was a little old lady in the back, looking through a stash of old plush toys, but other than that the shop was completely empty. Most of the toys looked really old, there was only a little section with a "new arrivals!" sign above it. Zeke let go of Dean's hand and went to look at a stack of old toy cars.

Dean fidgeted with his hands for a while, looking behind the counter to see if someone was coming.

"Hi! Can I help you!" A cheery voice exclaimed behind him.

He turned around, half jumping.

"Wow… Oh, hey there, you scared me…" He said.

If this was Becky, she had changed a lot. He was pleasantly surprised. Her eyes opened wide in recognition and her smile widened, if it was possible.

"Oh… Dean? Is that you?" She asked, beaming.

Dean smiled too, trying to look as charming as possible.

"Uh… Becky, right? It's been a while!"

"Wow… Yes! How are you? What are you doing here?"

Dean ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm here with my little cousin. Zeke!"

The kid turned around and looked at him, obviously bored. Dean waved at him. He didn't wave back.

"I'm taking care of him today, you know… I had nothing better to do so… I try to help."

She walked behind the counter and took a box of old plush toys from under it.

"That's nice! And how is Sam?" She said as she started to put price tags on the toys.

"He's good, he's good… He's about to get married actually."

Her hand slipped and she stopped for a second.

"Oh…"

She went on with the tagging but she seemed pissed all of a sudden. Dean didn't think much of it though. He was trying to focus on his goal here.

"And how are you? You own a shop now, must be cool, right?"

She smiled again.

"Oh, yeah, it's great! I even make my own toys too, you wanna see?"

Dean shrugged. "Sure!"

She bent down and took another box out from under the counter. There were little plush dolls, obviously homemade. Some girls and some boys. All the girl dolls looked like her. And the boy dolls…

"I needed a good model for these…" She said as she took one out. "So I choose Sam! What do you think?"

The smile was back on her face. In fact she was smiling so hard she almost looked crazy.

"Uh…" He took one in his hand. They really did look like Sam. It was insane. "They're… very accurate."

"Thanks! I think so too! I don't sell a lot of them but it's nice. They're nice to make. It's kind of a hobby, you know."

"Yeah, I see…"

She took one of the girl dolls and one of the Sam dolls and made them kiss. She giggled

"See, we look so great together!"

She wasn't looking at Dean anymore. Wow, yeah, he really needed to get out of there. Dean cleared his throat.

"So… Yeah, Becky, sorry but I have to go now…"

She looked up, disappointed. "That's a shame!" She looked at the Sam doll she was still holding. "Dean is going to leave us alone." She pouted at the doll. Then at Dean.

He tried to fake a laugh. It came out as half a whine.

"Hm… Well Becky, it was nice to see you again."

"You too, Dean."

He put the Sam Doll he was holding back on the counter.

"Oh, no, keep it!" She said, pushing the doll back into his hand. "You can show it to Sam! I'm sure he'll like it!"

She hugged her own Sam doll. Dean reluctantly picked up the other one. "Okay… thanks, Becky…"

He stood there, blinking at here for a few seconds. Becky took the Sam Doll's hand and made it wave at Dean.

"Goodbye Dean!" She half sang, trying to imitate a man's voice.

"Yeah… Okay…"

Dean almost ran to Zeke and got out of the shop as quickly as he could.

**#**

When Dean finally got tired of the bar he had been sitting in all the rest of the afternoon and went home, it was already dark outside. He put the Sam doll on his kitchen counter, lit the little lamp next to his couch and sat down heavily. He stared at the TV for a while and decided it would be less boring if he actually turned it on. He stood up again, found the remote after looking around for a few minutes (It was hidden in the back of his fridge. Gabriel probably thought it was a good joke), took off his pants and threw himself on the couch again.

He was searching through the channels when his door opened. He didn't need to look to know who it was. He heard the door close again and Gabriel appeared in front of him.

"You're home late." He said.

He sat down next to Dean and stared at the TV. After a few minutes he sighed and laid down, resting his head on Dean's thighs. Finally he looked up.

"She was that bad, uh?" He asked.

Dean nodded. "She made a Sam doll."

Gabriel chuckled. "Sorry."

Dean looked back at the TV. "Thanks…" He said without conviction.

He started playing with Gabe's hair absent-mindedly. This was starting to make him feel seriously bad. Becky wasn't much, really. She had been his first because she had been there at the time, looking for Sam like always and he had thought, why not? You know. He had wanted to get that out of the way, so, really, she wasn't a big one. It was just sad to see that so far every one of the people he had dated were weirdos, or didn't knew him at all because he had deemed good to lie to them so they would like him. Or even both. The ones he categorically hadn't wanted to see especially. He had put them on the list but really when Gabe had found them they didn't seem to have changed at all. Just like him. And Dean found that it was the worst. Recognizing himself in these people. Sam was probably right. Looking for them was a bad idea in the first place.

"Dean, you okay?" Gabriel suddenly asked.

Dean kept silent for a second.

"I don't know, man… I just… It tells a lot about me, all those people… I mean I dated them, I must have found them appealing at some point…"

Gabriel smiled reassuringly at him. "Exes are exes for a reason, Dean. It doesn't have anything to do with you. You changed, they changed, it happens."

"Thanks but I don't think I've changed that much… I'm still at the same point in my life I was ten years ago. No job, no ambition… When I look at my brother…"

"Ah no you don't wanna do that. You're you, why would you compare yourself with your brother?"

Dean realized he was stroking Gabe's hair. He stopped.

"Because we're supposed to be the same. We went to the same schools, we had the same chances… Hell I couldn't even hold on for a month when I tried to go to college. Everything's going so smoothly for him, I don't know… If he can do it and I can't-"

"It just means college is not for you. You're overthinking things too much, Dean-o. You should try to just… I don't know… Take things as they come. Stop being so anxious over every little thing. Stop thinking about what you'll maybe have later. Just think about the things you have now. Is it that difficult?"

He stared at Dean almost insistently, almost like he wanted Dean to understand something he didn't dare to voice.

"I don't know. That's not how I work." He tried to think about it for a second. The light coming from the TV was casting weird blue shadows on Gabriel's face. It gave him an eerie look. "I never tried, actually. I never thought about it that way." He admitted.

Gabriel smiled at him. "Well you know what you have to do now."

Dean smiled too.

"Now shut up I'm trying to watch that show." Gabe added, still smiling.

They watched TV like this for a while. Gabriel's breath on Dean's bare skin gave him goosebumps. But he didn't say anything about it. Maybe because it felt nice. But he had known from the start he wouldn't try anything with Gabriel, so it was okay, really. Well it had been okay until Gabriel started playing with the hair on his legs.

"Stop it!" He said after a while.

He didn't want to laugh, really, but it tickled.

"Sorry, I was trying to get your attention."

"You could have just called my name."

Gabriel sat up, stretching his arms. "You'd love that, wouldn't you?" He winked at Dean.

"Shut up…"

Gabe took a piece of paper out of his pants pocket. "I didn't bring that up right away 'cause you didn't seem in the mood but I found someone else I think could interest you."

He unfolded the paper and gave it to Dean. It was an article about a woman going big in the video game industry from a web journal. "Charlie Bradbury." He said. "She's a genius. And I mean, really, a real genius. I don't know much about video games but she helped developed a pretty successful game, and everybody wants her now. Well, except for a bunch of nerds on internet forums who still live in the Dark Ages but who cares about those guys. She seems really nice too, you should read some of her interviews. She doesn't seem to be a creeper, so that's a good point too. No weird websites either. I really hope you never lied to that one…"

Dean took the time to read a bit of what was written before he answered.

"Yeah… I mean, no… I think she's the only one I didn't need to lie to, to be honest. We met when I tried to go to college." He smiled to himself, remembering. "We were at this lame party… We started talking because she was wearing a Star Trek shirt."

Gabriel laughed. "So you went all 'I like your shirt' on her? That's kinda lame, Dean."

"Uh… no." He answered, sheepishly. "Actually I was pretty rude, I told her she had probably never seen the entire series and she was just wearing the shirt without knowing what it meant."

"Ouch."

"Yeah… So she made me fetch her a beer, she sat me down and she scolded me for two hours about how much of a douchebag I was." He smiled again. This was actually a pretty good memory. "And then she made me list all the plots of all the series and movies, and when she found out which ones I hadn't seen she told me everything important that happened in those. Basically she ruined them for me…" He chuckled. "I guess I had it coming."

Gabriel smiled at that. "So you'll see her?"

" I guess, yeah… But maybe not right away, okay?"

Gabriel settled on the couch again, half lying on his side, his shoulder brushing Dean's.

"Are you asking for my permission?" He grinned.

Dean just laughed. "No."

"There's something you should know before you get all worked up, though…"

"What?"

Gabriel hesitated for a few seconds before he answered. "She's not exactly living close to New-York…"

"Where is she then?"

"Hm… Florida?"

Dean almost choked on his own saliva. "Florida? Are you crazy? It means I'll have to take a plane?"

Gabriel nodded. Dean stared at him, wondering if it was worth it. It was Charlie, after all. Maybe he could make an exception and… Put aside his fear of flying for a few hours, for her?

"Okay, I'll go."

"Really?" Gabe actually looked surprised.

"Yeah… I'm pretty sure she's worth the risk."

Gabriel looked at the TV again.

"Dibs on your place if you crash."

"Shut the fuck up!" Dean laughed.

They stayed together watching TV for a couple of hours after that. Gabriel fell asleep on the couch. Dean didn't wake him up.


	6. Mortal Kombat

Dean got out of the shop, his all new Star Trek Reboot shirt in hands. He was all smile today. He couldn't believe he had almost forgotten about Charlie. She was just perfect. They had lost contact when he had stopped going to college, and he had never tried to keep in touch. She liked to spend time on the internet, and it wasn't really his thing. Hell, before he had asked Gabriel to help him look for his exes he didn't even have facebook.

He was only a few blocks from his apartment when his phone rang. It was Sam.

"Sammy!" He exclaimed as he took the call.

"_Hey Dean! I'm not far from your place, can I come?_"

"Why?"

He could almost see Sam making a bitch face at him through the phone.

"_Because I want to see you! Why do you think?_"

Dean laughed. "Yeah sure. I'm not home yet but you know where the keys are. I'll be here in five."

"_Thanks, Dean. See you there!_"

**#**

When he entered his apartment Dean had a hard time believing what he saw. Sam and Gabriel were sitting together on his couch, each on a side of it, Sam looking like he was about to punch something, and Gabriel was… Well he seemed to be completely naked. He was sitting legs crossed; fondling a pillow he was holding over his crotch.

"Good morning!" He beamed.

"Hey…"

Dean walked closer. His brother gave him a look that didn't mean anything good.

"Hey Sam. I see you've met Gabriel."

Sam kept looking at him like he was going to murder someone. "Yeah…"

Dean gave a look at Gabe and sighed. "Tell me you're not naked under there…"

Gabriel pushed the pillow away. He was wearing boxer shorts. He smiled as if it was the best day of his life.

"What is he doing here?" Sam asked.

Dean raised an eyebrow at Gabriel. "Good question."

Gabe stretched his arms before he answered. "What do you think?"

Dean snorted. "What's your excuse this time?"

"Told her I had to fetch my dog from the vet."

Sam seemed to understand what he meant and he looked outraged.

"Seriously? That's all you could come up with?" Dean asked, trying to hold back a laugh.

"She was wearing a shirt with little puppies on it, I don't know. First thing that came to mind, really."

Sam got up. "I'm gonna go." He said, still looking pissed.

"Sam…" Dean tried.

But his brother looked really angry now. "No, Dean, I'll see you later."

He grabbed his jacket and stormed out. Dean really didn't understand what had just happened.

"Did I say something?" Gabe asked.

Dean kept looking at the door for a few seconds. "Uh, I don't know, man. I guess he's stressed. With the wedding and all…"

He shrugged and walked to his room. He put the Star Trek shirt with a bunch of other clothes he had already stuffed inside a little suitcase.

When he came back into the living room Gabriel had put a shirt and some pants on. He was holding an envelope.

"I got your plane tickets. You're all ready?"

He handed the tickets to Dean who put them inside his jeans pocket. "Yep. I hope I'm not forgetting anything."

He looked around, trying to see if there wasn't anything else he had to take with him.

"There nothing you can't buy, you know." Gabriel said as he went to fetch the coffee pot and two mugs.

"I don't have unlimited funds, I'm still out of a job, remember? The tickets were expensive enough…"

Gabe poured them both some coffee and handed a mug to Dean.

"You can always find money if you really need it, trust me."

Dean snorted. "You're only saying this because you're living off of me."

Gabriel just smirked over his mug.

**#**

"_So, how was the flight?_"

"Awfully long. I threw up twice."

Dean was just getting out of the taxi that took him from the airport to his motel. He heard Gabriel snort on the phone.

"_You're so delicate._"

"I don't like to fly, I told you that."

He thanked the taxi driver silently and walked inside the motel.

"_You know there's a lot more chance that you'll die in a car accident than in a plane crash?_"

"Yeah, I bet that's what all the people who died in one thought too…"

Gabriel laughed. "_Anyway… There should be a comic book shop not too far from where you're staying. It's called 'the Bunker'. Charlie should be there today, the owner is one of her friend, she helps on Wednesdays._"

"Uh… Okay… I'll go check in the afternoon then."

He stopped at the front desk and waited.

"_Call me when you're done!_"

"Yeah, okay."

"_Good luck!_"

**#**

Dean felt a little anxious as he took a look at the comic book shop on the other side of the street he was in. He stood there for a few minutes, trying to see through the windows. He finally crossed the street and entered the shop, looking around to see if he could spot Charlie.

There were a bunch of teenagers sitting in a corner, and a tall woman with short black hair was standing behind the counter. She was reading a book, smiling to herself. He walked to her and cleared his throat. She looked up.

"Hi… I was told Charlie was here?" He asked.

Might as well be honest, he saw where all his lies took him. She looked annoyed suddenly.

"I'm sorry she's not giving live interviews anymore."

"Oh no, I'm not a journalist I'm… uh… I'm an old friend… From college. I'm not in the state for long, but I thought I could see her while I was here…"

The woman sat up straighter and put her book on the counter.

"What's your name?"

"Dean. Dean Winchester."

She crossed her arms on her chest. "She's never mentioned you."

Dean rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess we didn't spend much time together… It's been years, really. But I just wanted to see if-"

Charlie suddenly came out from a backroom door.

"Dean!" She exclaimed.

She walked around the counter and hugged him. "I can't believe it's you!"

"Hey, Charlie."

She kept a hand on his arm and looked at him head to toe. "My, Dean. Look at you!"

She smirked at his Star Trek shirt. "I bet you're only wearing that for the looks."

He laughed. "Yeah, it made me think about you. Haven't seen it yet, though, so no spoiler this time!"

She was as cute as the last time he had seen her. She looked more confident now, though. More feminine too, even if she was still dressing like an over-grown teenager. It looked cute on her. She ran a hand through her hair, still smiling wide.

"So… What are you doing here?"

Dean gave a quick look at the woman behind the counter. She was reading again. He felt a bit embarrassed but he really didn't want to lie this time. Or at least not entirely.

"I saw an article about you… And I thought… You know, it's been a while and maybe it was time to come and say hello, see how you're doing…"

"Really? Wow, that's really nice. And kind of creepy, I guess?"

They both laughed. "Sorry…" He mumbled, still smiling.

"It's okay, Dean, I'm really happy you came!"

And she really looked like she was. It was crazy, how natural it all felt, even after all this time. He felt a surge of happiness suddenly. He was glad he had put her name on the list. They hadn't really had sex, actually. They had kissed sloppily and there was some hands-to-genitals action involved, but they had been really drunk that night. He didn't know if she remembered. But he had really liked her so he had thought it would be nice if he could see her again.

Yes, it had been a good idea.

"I am, too."

They stared at each other for a while before she spoke again.

"Can I offer you a cup of coffee?"

He smiled. "Sure."

They spent a solid hour together, sitting in the back room, sipping coffee. Dean told her about his life, about Sam. She told him about her life in college, how she had met the two guys she was working with and how they had had the idea that gave them their big break in the industry. They talked about their old college days, about how it felt to Dean like he had spent years there with her when it had only been barely a month, and they reminded each other of all the crazy things they had done then.

They laughed so much Dean felt his abs starting to hurt every time he moved. After a while, it was just her talking about things she loved or hated, and Dean didn't mind. She was such a passionate person, he felt like he could listen to her for days.

"And that's why we should definitely have a Game of Thrones marathon together." She said.

Dean laughed again. "Okay, we'll do that."

"Good." She smiled.

She looked at her smartphone, hitting a key. The phone lit up, showing the saving screen.

"Wow, I didn't thought it was that late already!"

She emptied her cup of coffee in one go. It was probably cold by now; she had been talking so much she had barely touched it.

"Listen… I have stuff to do now but… Tonight I need to be at that super boring corporate thing to promote our new game so… Would you like to come with me?"

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You're sure you want me there?"

"Yeah, it's usually pretty boring. If you're here it'll help!"

He laughed, looking down at his own cup.

"Okay, then. I'll come with you."

He looked up again.

"Awesome!" She grinned.

**#**

When Dean got back to his motel room he still had a big smile on his face. He threw himself on the bed and took his phone out of his pocket. He had one new message. From Gabriel.

He opened it; it was a picture of Gabe pouting at Becky's creepy Sam doll. Dean huffed a laugh and dialed Gabe's number right away.

"_Winchester Household?_" Gabe's voice answered.

Dean laughed quietly. "Sometimes I wonder why you still bother to pay your rent." Dean said.

"_Because I still need a place to fuck_."

Dean rolled his eyes. "You're so endearing, Gabe. Really."

"_Shut up and tell me how it went!_"

Dean closed his eyes. He could hear his TV was on. Gabriel had probably spent his whole day on the couch. Again.

"It was… Awesome!"

"_Really?_"

"Yeah, she's so great, I swear… We spent all the time I was there talking but, I don't know, I don't think I ever felt that comfortable with someone before. It's like we have a special connection or something, it's just…" He laughed at how ridiculously sappy he sounded. "Anyway, she's invited me to a thing tonight!"

There was a silence at the other end of the line.

"Gabe?"

"_Yeah… Yeah, I'm here. It's great, Dean. I'm happy for you_."

Dean frowned. Gabriel sounded… Weird. "Are you-"

"_So you're going out tonight, uh?_"

"Uh… Yeah. I don't know she said it was a corporate thing… D'you think I should wear a suit?"

Gabriel chuckled. "_You? In a suit? I don't know._"

"Yeah… She didn't say anything…"

"_Then don't think about it_."

Dean sighed. He scratched his stomach absent-mindedly.

"Yeah, you're right."

They both kept silent for a while. Dean heard the TV in the background. He didn't want to hang up right away.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked.

He heard Gabriel sigh. "_Nothing. Just watching some TV. D'you wanna have phone sex_?"

Dean laughed. "Shut up."

"_Too bad_." Gabe answered.

But he still sounded kind of sulky. Dean sat up.

"Gabe, are you okay?"

Gabriel didn't answer right away. "_Yeah, it's just… I guess I'm bored when you're not here, maybe._" Dean heard him move. "_You're like a puppy. You're annoying as hell but when I'm not with you I miss you I guess._"

Dean smiled. He didn't know what to answer to that. It took him a few seconds to come up with something. He didn't feel like making a lame joke right now anyway.

"Yeah, I miss you too."

"_No homo, though._" Gabriel said right away.

Dean could tell he was smiling. He was probably a bit embarrassed too, judging by the tone of his voice. Dean heard him move some glass or maybe some mugs around. He snorted.

"Dude, we're both completely homo."

"_Not completely. Maybe like eighty-five percent homo._"

They both laughed again. "If you say so."

He waited until Gabriel stopped laughing. "I think I'm gonna go get ready now."

"_Okay._" Gabriel said.

Dean heard him open the door of his fridge. "Don't eat all my food!"

"_I won't. Have fun, Dean._"

"Thanks. Later!"

"_Later._"

He hung up and let himself fall back on the bed. He smiled to the ceiling. Everything was great.

**#**

Dean had often wondered if there was such a thing as a soul mate. Really, he wasn't the romantic type. He wouldn't have been doing what he was doing if he had been. But maybe he was starting to believe in those things now.

Charlie was everything he could have dreamed of. The fact that she was a woman was great too, because that way it would make things less awkward with his parents. He knew his mom didn't mind. They both knew how he worked, but his dad wasn't really happy about it. He hadn't voiced any kind of disapproval yet, but Dean just knew he didn't like that his son liked boys.

So yeah, it would make things easier with John if they got together. But Dean didn't want to jinx anything and so he tried to stop thinking about all this for a second and he entered the building that Charlie told him was going to hold the convention.

There were an awful lot of people in there. Fortunately most of them were dressed casual and so he stopped fidgeting with his shirt and tried to relax a little. He looked around, trying to spot Charlie. It wasn't going to be difficult though, most of the people here were guys. Suddenly, he felt someone poke his arm.

"Hey there!" Charlie said as she took him by the arm and started walking toward the entrance to a conference room.

"Hey!" Dean answered.

He felt kind of awkward here, but she seemed to be used to all of this so he just let her drag him along.

"So… There's going to be a boring conference, but after that we can go into that other room…" She pointed toward a room that seemed to have lots of televisions screens in it. "And have a look at some funnier stuff. Is that okay with you?"

Dean nodded. He was going to answer something when his phone started vibrating in his pocket.

"Uh… Sorry…" He said as he took it out.

"You should probably turn it off." She smiled.

He gave a quick look at the screen of his phone. It was Gabriel. He reluctantly refused the call; he could call him back later anyway. He turned off his phone, put it back in his pocket and smiled back at Charlie, letting out a nervous breath.

"Okay… Let's go then!"

**#**

The evening went way better than what Dean had expected. Charlie introduced him to both her colleagues who were working with her on her new game, they chatted with some very important people in the industry and they laughed a lot looking at other people's concepts. Charlie was as bright and as radiant as she was in college and at some point Dean almost felt like he was falling in love with her already.

They finally ended up behind the building, Dean sitting on a stone bench and Charlie sitting crossed legs on the floor. They both had a drink in hand and Charlie was telling him about that one time in college she had pretended to be a foreign exchange student and had spoken Elvish for an entire week-end before someone finally found out what she was doing.

She finished her story and started laughing. Dean laughed too, he felt his abs starting to hurt. They had had so much fun in only one day, it was almost unbelievable how well they got along.

"Okay, okay… You win. It's the best college story I've ever heard!" He said between laughs.

He let himself drop next to her. It was night but everything felt warm and comfortable, even the floor. He was feeling a bit tipsy by now, and he was pretty sure Charlie was too. She was still laughing when her eyes found his and they stared at each other for a few seconds.

Dean suddenly felt so happy. He didn't thought he had ever been that happy before. Well maybe he had, a few times with Gabe, but this… This was actually true. It was his moment, right now. He felt his heart miss a beat but he still leaned forward, slowly so that she would know what he was doing.

"Wow… Dean! Dean…"

Their mouths were so close her voice resonated on his lips. She pushed him away, gently.

"Sorry…" He whispered. "I thought…"

She shook it off with a shy laugh, her gaze unfocused. "It's okay, it's just…"

Dean felt his cheek getting hotter and hotter by the minute. He didn't know what he had done wrong. He hoped he hadn't fucked anything up… Maybe he had said something before?

She was staring at the building when he looked up again. "Did I do something wrong or…" He trailed off.

She laughed again, this time looking in his direction. "No! No… I'm sorry Dean I should've… I mean, I really like you, and it was an awesome day but… I'm gay, actually."

She looked embarrassed.

"You're… Gay?"

She nodded. "Yup. Totally into chicks now."

Dean chuckled and let his head fall on his chest.

"Sorry." She added.

He lifted his head again and looked at her. He sighed.

"Don't be. I suck at that hetero thing anyway. I'm gonna stick with guys from now on."

She smiled and fist-bumped his shoulder compassionately. Then she took a sip of her beer and looked at the building again.

"Glad I could help, then." She smiled.

They both laughed. He smiled sadly in return.

He still stayed with her for another hour after that. And they still had fun and talked about the past. But he couldn't help but feel like his heart was ten tones heavier now. When he got back to the motel, the feeling was still here. There was only one thing that could maybe help.

He called Gabriel.


	7. Love Actually

When Dean finally got back home Gabe was already there. The apartment was incredibly clean, there were some scented candles lit on the coffee table and two steaming hot mugs of god knew what were waiting next to them.

Dean let go of his suitcase and went to sit on the couch, letting out a huge sigh as he let himself fall on it. Everything smelled fresh. It was weird.

Gabriel, who had been following Dean around without saying a word finally sat down next to him. He was just looking at Dean, smiling.

"You cleaned my place." Dean just said.

Gabriel nodded. "Yeah, I thought it would cheer you up. I don't know, I needed to do something while I was waiting for you. You made me kind of nervous actually."

Dean snorted.

"I'm not kidding!" Gabriel added. "You should have waited until tomorrow to come back."

"I didn't want to wait that long… The motel was shit anyway, I just wanted to get home."

Dean looked around. Even the TV had been dusted. "You really cleaned everything. You're crazy."

"Told you I was nervous."

"Dude, it's 3 in the morning."

"And?"

"You spent all night cleaning. I can't believe it."

Gabriel leaned forward, grabbed one of the mugs and handed it to Dean. "Shut up and have some hot cocoa."

Dean looked at his mug. It smelled awfully good. "You made hot cocoa."

Gabriel hummed affirmatively as he took a sip of his own mug.

"Is that a marshmallow?"

"Drink, Dean."

Dean shrugged and tentatively put his lips on the mug, trying to see if it was still burning hot or not. It seemed to be okay, though, so he sighed and took a few sips. He felt the taste of cinnamon linger on his tongue. It was surprisingly delicious.

He looked at Gabe wide eyed. "That's actually really good."

"Thanks."

A few minutes passed. They stayed silent, each drinking slowly. Dean just tried to enjoy Gabriel's presence for a while. He felt so tired, but he didn't think he could sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Charlie. It had been too good to be true, really. Turned out she was dating the girl from the comic book store. And he was happy for her, really. But it had been a huge blow. He didn't want to look for anyone anymore. He felt hopeless and alone. He didn't even care about Sam's wedding anymore, because now he knew he was just a failure. So showing up alone wouldn't really surprise anyone. Not his parents, not his brother, not Sam's friends either. He was good to fuck, but he was no boyfriend material.

And now even thinking about sex made him feel a bit sick.

"Dean."

"Hm?"

"Stop brooding."

He put his half-empty mug on the coffee table and turned to look at Gabriel.

"What are you thinking about?" Gabe asked, holding his gaze.

Dean kept his mouth shut for a second, trying to decide if he wanted to be honest or not.

"I'm gonna go to my brother's wedding alone. And I'm pretty sure the only one who's gonna be disappointed about it is me."

Gabriel just blinked. "I'll go with you if you want."

Okay, so that was something Dean hadn't thought about.

"Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"In what universe would I mind getting free food and an entire pack of single people looking to get laid?"

Dean laughed, but it felt bitter. For a second there he had thought Gabe would actually enjoy going with him just for the sake of spending some more time together but… Yeah. He was practically living here anyway.

"What?" Gabe asked again.

He seemed to notice it didn't cheer Dean up much.

"Nothing. I'm sorry, I'm just… Sad."

Gabriel stood up so fast it startled Dean and made him jump a little. He put his mug down and look at Dean with such a determined look that Dean was almost scared of what was going to come out of his mouth.

"Let's take a walk."

"Sorry?"

"Let's go outside, breathe some fresh air, it'll do you some good. I know a place, Come on."

He walked around the couch, took his jacket that was lying on a chair and put it on. Dean just stayed on the couch.

"But it's the middle of the night."

"Who cares? You want to go to sleep?"

"No."

"Then come on!"

He threw Dean's jacket at his face. Dean had no choice but to follow.

**#**

"This is really creepy…"

Gabe snorted but still kept going. They had just broken into an old hotel. 'The Elysian Fields', it was called, whatever that meant. It had been a really chic one, apparently, but now it was just messy and dusty and Dean was actually a bit scared. He wouldn't have been surprised if suddenly a ghost just popped up from behind an old piece of furniture.

He heard something fall in the distance and he turned around, his heart beating like crazy.

"Seriously Gabe, I'm fucking scared! "

As he turned around again he realized Gabriel wasn't here anymore. He was alone. In the creepy hotel. Awesome.

"Gabe! It's not funny!"

He waited a few seconds but nothing happened and he didn't hear anything more. He noticed some broken chairs in a corner and walked to them, grabbing a piece of broken wood and held it close to his chest.

"Gabe?"

Still no answer. His grip tightened on the piece of wood.

He started walking, faster and faster with each step. It was the middle of the night and Gabe had just dumped him in the middle of what looked like a haunted hotel and really, nobody could blame him for panicking.

"Gabriel?!"

He was about to turn a corner into an even more creepy corridor if it was possible when something jumped in front of him and he felt like he was having a heart attack. He screamed like an eight year old little girl.

Turned out it was Gabriel. The fucker was laughing so hard it looked like he was choking.

"Shit! Gabe… Fuck! Don't ever do that again!" Dean fumed.

Gabriel was still laughing. He didn't seem to be able to stop. He tried to say something but he didn't seem to have enough breath left in him to manage a word. He bent forward, holding his stomach, still laughing his ass off.

Dean just held himself with one hand on a wall, the other still holding the piece of wood.

"Stop laughing!" Dean snapped.

He looked at Gabriel, waiting until he stopped, but he didn't. Dean started to smile. Gabe's laugh was really contagious. He tried to hold back the laughter he felt coming and keep sounding angry but he couldn't.

"Just… Stop…" He uttered between laughs. "Come on…"

"Your… Your face!" Gabriel managed.

He kept laughing so hard he ended up sitting on the floor, tears in his eyes. Dean just stared at him and kept laughing too, so much it felt like he was drunk after a while. He let the piece of wood fall on the floor.

"You're gonna- you're gonna get dirty sitting down here." He said.

The floor was literally made of dirt. Dean could see his footprints going all the way from where they had entered the room. It just occurred to him that he could have followed Gabe's footprints instead of panicking like he had.

He held out his hand to help Gabriel up but when Gabe took it he just pulled him down. Dean landed headfirst in the dirt, half of his body on the floor and the other half in Gabe's lap. He pushed himself up and finally sat next to Gabe, his back against the dusty wall, his shoulder brushing Gabriel's.

They both calmed down after a few minutes. Dean felt like he had just run a marathon.

"Let's play hide and seek." Gabe said after a while.

Dean closed his eyes. "Please, no, it's too creepy here."

Gabriel sighed. He was still holding his stomach and sometimes Dean could hear him hold a laugh.

"What do we do then?"

Dean shrugged. Then realized that Gabe wasn't actually looking at him.

"I don't know. Can we go home? I think I got enough fresh air for today."

A loud noise interrupted Gabriel as he was about to answer. They looked at each other, wide eyed.

"What the fuck?" Dean whispered.

Gabe shushed him and got up, giving a quick look at the door. Dean heard some footsteps suddenly and he looked too. There was a light, like one from a flashlight, coming from behind another corridor.

"Security!" Gabe whispered as he quickly got up.

Dean stood up too, panicked. "What do we do?" He asked in the same hushed tone.

Gabriel took him by the hand and started running. He was holding onto Dean so tightly that Dean had to run too if he didn't want his shoulder dislocated. They were running toward the light.

"What are you do-"

"Hey!" The security guard yelled when he saw them.

"Shiiiiiii-"

But Gabriel kept going and they ran past the guard without trouble. He looked so stunned Dean thought that he probably wasn't expecting this and was as scared as Dean had been earlier.

Soon they were out, and they kept running for a while until Dean pulled at Gabriel's hand.

"I can't- Please stop, I can't breathe…"

They stopped and Gabriel let himself fall on the pavement. Dean felt like he was going to puke his lungs out. He should really think about working out more, he thought.

He closed his eyes, trying to breathe in and out evenly. When he opened them, Gabe was completely lying down, his eyes closed. They were lucky it was late and it was a small street. He was lying in the middle of the road.

Exhausted, Dean sat down next to him and laid down too. The city was almost silent. He could hear some cars, really, really far away, but that was it. There was a street lamp not far from them that was half broken but it was still enough to see and it gave the surroundings a weird orange glow that made everything feel warm and oddly comfortable.

A drop of water fell on Dean's nose. Gabriel sighed.

"Tell me it's not raining." He said, sounding annoyed.

Rain suddenly started pouring as if it hadn't rained for years and Dean didn't even had time to blink that he was already soaking wet.

"Fuck." Gabe just said, matter-of-factly.

He sat up and took his jacket off. Then his shirt.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked as pushed himself up.

Gabriel was now standing up and unbuttoning his pants. He smiled at Dean slyly but didn't answer. He took his pants off and threw them on the floor.

Dean couldn't help but smile at how stupid it all looked. Gabriel raised his arms and closed his eyes, throwing his head back and letting the rain wash over him.

"You're crazy." Dean laughed.

He had to laugh really. He had to do something that would distract him from Gabriel because having him here, half naked and soaking wet just made all sorts of dirty, inappropriate thoughts run through Dean's head.

"Be crazy with me, Dean." Gabe just answered.

Dean hesitated for a second but finally stood up and took his shirt off in one swift movement. He felt goose bumps running up his arms and just stood there for a second, shivering under the cold rain.

"Okay, it's the worse idea you ever had." He said.

Gabriel opened his eyes and stared at him for a second. The he bent down and grabbed his pants, putting them on again.

"First one home wins!" He exclaimed suddenly, and started running.

Surprised, Dean just had the time to get both their clothes from the floor and ran after him.

**#**

Gabriel won. He was a pretty good runner, and Dean didn't like to exercise anyway, so it was no surprise to him that Gabe was already waiting in front of the apartment, sitting on his doormat, a little self-sufficient smile on his face when Dean reached their floor, feeling like every breath he took was burning his whole respiratory system.

Gabriel stood up, looking smug, and opened Dean's door with a key that Dean hadn't seen before and that looked suspiciously like his own.

"You had a- a double of my key made?" He asked between ragged breaths.

"Don't act surprised, Dean. How else do you think I got in when you weren't here?"

Well, that was true. Dean shrugged and pushed Gabriel inside. He threw their clothes on the floor and closed the door. When he turned around again Gabe was so close to him their noses were almost touching. He froze and stared at Gabe's lips.

"So… You wanna go to bed right away or…" Gabriel trailed off.

Dean swallowed hard before he answered. They weren't touching but he felt a shiver run up his body as if they were. His stomach tightened in anticipation.

"No."

He took a step forward and Gabriel took a step back, the same smug smile on his face.

"What do you want to do then?"

Dean took another step, and another, and another, and Gabriel kept walking backward as he did, keeping them just a couple of inches apart.

"I don't know… You have any ideas?"

They reached the living room. Gabriel couldn't step back anymore; the table was blocking the way. Gabriel lifted his hand and let it run up Dean's arm slowly.

"Maybe." He whispered, his smile getting bigger.

Dean let out a breath, half laughing, but he truly felt like his insides were melting. He felt his blood rushing down to his groin at the contact.

"Really?" He answered in the same hushed voice. He didn't even know what he was saying anymore.

He slowly bent forward, his mouth came to brush Gabriel's.

"Yeah…" Gabe said.

And he closed the distance between them. Dean stomach jumped as he felt Gabriel's lips on him and he closed his eyes. Gabriel held on to his hips and deepened the kiss. His tongue pushed against Dean's and Dean couldn't hold himself anymore. He pushed Gabriel against the table. Gabe chuckled and nibbled at Dean's lower lip, not hard enough to hurt but just enough that it set Dean's blood on fire.

"Bed." He managed.

Gabriel hummed his approval against his mouth and he pushed Dean slowly across the living room. They bumped into a few things on the way but they finally reached the bed without hurting themselves too much. Gabriel pushed Dean on the bed and stood there for a few seconds, looking at Dean as if he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Dean smiled slyly in return, pushing himself up so that he could let his head rest on his pillow. Gabriel finally moved, bending down so that he could crawl up Dean's body, leaving a trail of kisses from his belly to his neck, until finally he reached Dean's mouth and they started kissing again.

Gabriel pushed his hips against Dean's and Dean could feel that he was as hard as him. It sent a spark of desire running up his spine and he arched his back, trying to get more friction. Gabriel reached down and started unbuttoning Dean's jeans and his both with one hand. Dean had just enough clarity left to be impressed by it. When he was done he let go of Dean's mouth and pulled on his jeans until they were off. He threw them on the side of the bed and pulled off his own as quickly as he could.

Dean took that time to appreciate the view Gabriel was offering. He was a bit out of breath, his cheeks a nice shade of red, a strand of hair was falling in front of his eyes and he looked positively debauched. He was holding himself on his knees now, in nothing but his briefs, the muscle of his legs rolling under the skin as he came closer again. Dean could see his erection through the fabric of his shorts and he felt his mouth getting dry.

When Gabriel was close enough Dean took a hold of his neck and pulled him in, licking at his throat, kissing, tasting the skin under his tongue, sucking at it until he got a small whine out of Gabriel's mouth. He smiled, satisfied, and took Gabriel's face in both his hands. His eyes were gleaming with lust.

Dean didn't know it was possible to want someone as much as he wanted Gabe right now. He couldn't believe he was actually about to sleep with him. He had imagined it, fantasized it for so long, in every way he could think of, and now it was happening, it was real. Gabriel was here, half naked under his hands, and Dean had trouble understanding it fully. He let his hands run up and down Gabe's back as Gabriel started rolling his hips against his again. The feeling was overwhelming.

He realized he was panting and he tried to calm down a bit. Everything was going so fast, even for him. He stared at the ceiling as Gabriel started sucking at his neck, he needed to think about this before everything went to hell like it usually did. He didn't want to fuck this up. He always slept with people right away, maybe that was why they grew tired of him so fast. He didn't want Gabe to grow tired of him. Really not. He needed things to slow down. Now.

"Wait… Wait, Gabriel. Wait."

Gabe lifted his head, giving him a half amused, half questioning look. He kept rolling his hips slowly.

"I… We should… Take things slow, you know…" Dean tried.

Gabriel stopped moving and sighed. But he kept smiling.

"You sure?" He asked.

Dean nodded. It was for the best. If he could hold on for at least a day or two… Maybe it would help.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Gabe let himself fall on Dean's side and rested his head on his hand. Dean stared at him, wondering if everything was still fine between them. He could understand how frustrating it all was.

"You're not mad?"

Gabriel laughed lightly. "No. Why would I be?"

"I don't know. I mean-"

"Shut up, Dean. If you want to wait it's fine with me. I'm not going to get mad at you because you don't want to have sex right away, you know. I understand."

Dean tried to see if he was lying or not. He didn't seem mad, he didn't even seem disappointed.

"Really?"

"Yup. Plus think about it that way : we'll get frustrated a little, that way when we finally get down to business it'll be ten times better. We could even make a game out of it. Like, first one that initiates things loses."

Dean laughed. "And if one of us loses, what happens to the other? What does he win?"

"The right to top. And a blowjob. No that's too simple. Maybe… You ever heard of a rusty trombone?"

"Oh my god, shut up…"

"What?"

"That's disgusting."

Gabriel was smiling fondly now. "It's not. It's awesome."

"The way they call it is disgusting, though."

"True. But it's great. Trust me."

Dean laughed again and Gabriel bent down and gave him a small kiss.

"Okay, but what if I win and I don't want to top?"

Gabriel sighed dramatically. "The rules are the rules, Dean, I'm sorry. You'd have to lose on purpose if you want me to fuck you. And I wouldn't be very happy about that. I'm afraid I'd have to punish you if you do that. "

The words sent another spark of desire up Dean's body. He felt himself blush a little.

"Okay." He just answered.

He held on to Gabriel and started kissing him again. Kissing was okay, for now. It was more than enough.


	8. Pride and Prejudice

When Dean woke up the next morning Gabriel was draped all over him like some sort of giant octopus. He was clinging onto Dean with both his arms and one of his legs hooked up over Dean's thigh. But Dean didn't mind, so far. He felt warm and contented.

He ran a hand through Gabe's hair until Gabriel opened one eye and smiled at him.

"Hi." Dean whispered.

Gabriel just hummed and closed his eyes again, nuzzling against Dean's neck. Dean lifted his face with one hand and kissed him, long and deep. It was the most satisfying feeling in the world. He felt like he could kiss Gabe all day long, twenty-four/seven and never get tired of it.

When he stopped, Gabe rubbed his eyes and let his head fall on Dean's shoulder.

" 'time is it?" He asked.

Dean turned to look at his clock. He had to look again though, because it couldn't be possible. It couldn't be that late already.

"Shit!" He exclaimed as he sat up abruptly.

Gabe grunted disapprovingly as he was pushed on the side. "What?"

Dean almost jumped into the first pair of pants he could find and grabbed the phone on his night stand.

"I'm supposed to meet with Sam and I'm fucking late!"

He started to walk toward the living room but came back running. He gave Gabriel a quick kiss on the lips, then on the forehead.

"See you later?"

Gabriel nodded. "Not going anywhere." He said as he stretched his arms and settled against his pillow.

Dean gave him another kiss and left. Sam was going to kill him.

**#**

He entered the dinner half running and came to a halt in front of the table where Sam, Rick and Brady were sited.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm super late, I know…"

He sat next to his brother and wiped the sweat from his brow with one of the paper napkin he found on the table.

"It's okay, we haven't started yet." Sam said.

Martha, the diner's owner, appeared at his side with a plate full of pancakes and a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." He said to her with a smile. She smiled back and left. "Started what?" He asked, pouring a good amount of maple syrup on his pancakes.

"The table arrangements" Brady sighed.

Sam looked like he was about to hang himself. Dean raised his eyebrows at him.

"Shouldn't mom be doing that? Or Jess?"

Sam just hid his face behind his coffee mug. "She said she wanted me to get involved in the preparations so I volunteered… I didn't think it would be that hard to tell who sits where but…"

"Everyone hates everyone on your side of the family apparently." Rick said.

Dean snorted. "Understatement." He answered, shoving a piece of pancake in his mouth. "And isn't your wedding supposed to be in... like, ten days now? Why are you doing this now?"

"I don't know, we had other things to take care of and we forgot about it."

Dean made a sympathetic face as his mouth was too full for him to be able to answer.

"Anyway…" Sam let out a huge sigh. "Speaking of things we forgot about… Dean, have you found someone for the wedding?"

Dean swallowed his food and smiled. "Yep. Gabe is coming with me."

Sam frowned. "Gabe. Gabriel?"

"Your rape-y neighbor?" Brady asked, suddenly looking interested.

"My what now?" Dean didn't understand where this was coming from.

"Sorry." Rick said, taking a sip of his tea and looking away.

"Is that how you call him? Sam!" Dean was positively pissed at Sam for this. He was glad he hadn't asked Gabe to come with him this morning.

"I'm sorry, Dean, but you have to admit he's… a weird guy."

Dean felt himself blush. "He's not! He's-"

"And the way he indulges you with your search… It's not healthy, Dean." Sam cut him.

He felt like his whole face was on fire. "Well, you'll be glad to know I stopped looking!" He snapped.

He couldn't stand to look at his brother anymore. This morning he had felt so happy and now… Sam had a way to ruin everything with his high moral standards. As if he was better than Dean because he had Jess… Dean couldn't help but feel disappointed. It hadn't occurred to him that Sam would simply hate on Gabe without even trying to know him.

"Oh my god!" Brady suddenly gasped. "Dean you didn't… Please tell us you haven't slept with your neighbor."

"I…"

Sam just gave him a disapproving look.

"No, I didn't, okay? We just… We kissed." He couldn't help but smile a little at the thought, despite the anger he still felt.

"Oh no, don't go there, Dean." Brady went on. "Don't fall in love with him. What's going to happen after he fucked you, uh? He's going to dump you like he does with everyone and we'll have to clean up the mess. No, seriously, just don't."

Sam sighed. He looked torn.

"I'd like it better if you could find someone else, Dean. But if you really want to come with him… I don't know. I just hope he'll behave…"

Dean didn't feel like he wanted to talk about this anymore. He felt ashamed suddenly. It was true that Gabe had been a little rude with Sam but it was just… It was just the way he was, and Dean liked it. But now that he thought about it… Yeah, he couldn't really introduce Gabriel to his parents, to his whole family. His life was messy enough already.

"It was just… In case I didn't find anyone else, I didn't want to come on my own." He said apologetically.

"Coming alone would be less embarrassing, I think." Rick stated.

Brady and him laughed. Even Sam smiled. Dean tried to smile too. But he didn't answer.

**#**

He was on his way home walking to his apartment when his phone started ringing. He took it out of his pocket and realized it wasn't his phone. The screen said "Dean Calling". He turned the phone around and saw that there was a pikachu sticker on the back. It was Gabe's phone. He sighed and took the call.

"_You stole my phone!_" Gabriel said.

"Sorry."

He didn't feel like getting into the joke after what had happen with Sam and his friends. There was a short silence at the other end of the line.

"_What's wrong, Dean?_"

Dean couldn't really tell him.

"Uh… Nothing. Had a fight with Sam. Nothing serious, don't worry."

"_If you're sure…_"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'll be better when I'll see you."

"_Uh, yeah, speaking of that… I need to go for a few hours_."

Dean frowned. "Why?" he asked, suspiciously.

"_Nothing bad, don't worry. I just got a call for a small job. It's going to take me a part of the afternoon and a little bit of the evening too so I'll bring something to eat after I'm done, okay?_"

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything after you said you had a call for a job." He said, sarcastically.

"_Shut the fuck up, I work sometimes. How do you think I pay my rent?_"

"I don't know. I figured you were dealing drugs or maybe had some girls working for you somewhere."

Gabriel snorted. "_Right. That sounds like me. I'm sorry, no free prostitutes for you, Dean. Your ass is mine now._"

The smile was back on Dean's face. It was crazy how good Gabriel could make him feel.

"Since you're working now, you can maybe invite me to dinner someday. Maybe then I'll allow you a piece of that sweet ass you're talking about." He answered.

"_I'll think about it. I'm not sure you deserve it yet!_"

They both laughed.

"_Anyways._" Gabriel added. "_I really have to go, I'm almost there. Take care of my phone!_ "

"I will. Later, Gabe."

"_Later!_"

**#**

Dean felt frantic all afternoon. He couldn't wait to see Gabe. Now that he had him, really had him for himself, he just couldn't wait to touch him again. He didn't care what Brady or Rick or Sam thought. If he'd have to keep Gabe a secret, then so it would be.

The thing was, he didn't know what to do while he was waiting for Gabe to come back. He tried watching TV for a while, but without Gabe it was no fun. So he decided to take a run around the block. He ran for exactly twelve minutes and thirty-six seconds before giving up. He came back to the apartment walking, feeling like his legs were on fire. He took a shower, taking his time. He was proud of himself for not masturbating. He had decided he was going to lose the game tonight. So he needed to keep his energy.

When he got out of the shower he was still smiling at the thought of all the things they would be doing with Gabriel in a few hours. He just couldn't wait. He was about to sit on the couch and try to watch TV again when Gabe's phone lit up and he picked it up without thinking. Gabe had just received a new text message.

He was about to put it down again, thinking Gabe's messages weren't really his business when something caught his eyes. Without opening it he could only read the beginning of the text.

**- Hey Gab! Did u get Cas…-**

Really, it wasn't Dean's business. Really not. But the message said 'Cas'… Could it be? He hesitated for a couple of second before he opened it.

**- Hey Gab! Did u get Castiel Novaks number I sent u? U nver answerd so im sendin g it again.-**

There was a phone number after that.

Dean couldn't believe it. He stood there, frozen, Gabriel's phone in hand, reading the message again and again. He couldn't stop. Gabriel had had Castiel's number all along and he'd never told him.

He finally put the phone back on the coffee table and sat down, slowly, looking into empty space. So if he had lied about this, what other things had he lied about? Maybe Brady was right and he was planning to dump him as soon as he'd have what he wanted. Maybe he was just using Dean. After all, he was convenient. He paid for food, for cable, for clothes… Hell, Gabriel even took his showers here now, and Dean hadn't realized…

He grabbed Gabriel's mug (_Isn't really his mug, Dean. He's just using your dishes_) and threw it against a wall as hard as he could. The mug shattered in little pieces and he just stared at the floor. There had been coffee left in the mug. Now there was a puddle of it on the floor.

Dean kept staring at it. He kept staring and he held back the tears. He didn't read the message again. He didn't need to. It was seared into his brain.

**#**

"I brought pizza!" Gabriel sang as he came back. "And I used my own money, can you believe it?"

Dean was sitting at the kitchen table, turning his back on him, pretending he was reading the papers. But really he hadn't been able to move from that spot after he had cleaned the floor where he had thrown the mug.

"Hey, did you hear me? I said pizza. People should always react when they hear about pizza." He said cheerfully, bending down to kiss Dean's cheek.

Dean just avoided his mouth by turning his head away. Startled, Gabriel froze and was silent for a second.

"What the fuck, Dean?"

His heart beating like crazy – maybe because he was angry, or maybe because he was scared, he wasn't sure – he took Gabriel's phone out of his pocket, opened the text message and held the phone up so that Gabe could read it.

Dean stared at Gabriel as he was reading, and the look in his eyes when he finally understood what all of this was about only served to comfort Dean in his suspicions. He looked like a child being caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing.

"Dean-" He started.

But Dean stood up and walked as far away from him as he could.

"I should have known there was something wrong." Dean just said, his whole body shaking now. "I'm so fucking stupid!"

"Don't get mad, Dean, okay, let me explain-"

"So that you can find a lame excuse like you do with everyone else? You really think you can come up with something right now? Go ahead, I can't wait to hear it."

Dean felt like his heart was going to explode. He felt heat coming to his face in wave, bringing anger with it, making it grow stronger each time.

"It's not what you think, okay? I got that message when you were in Florida, I was about to tell you about it after you came back but…"

Dean started laughing hysterically. "Yeah, right."

Gabriel looked pissed too now.

"I swear, it's the truth. Did you check the previous text, at least? Did you check the date? I mean, you already went into my phone, you read that message, you could have read the rest while you were at it, right?"

"So now it's my fault for looking through your phone? Maybe if you'd have told me about it right away none of this would have happen!" He threw the phone at Gabriel's face.

Gabriel bent down just in time to avoid it. It flew a few inches above his head and crashed behind him, on the kitchen floor.

"Well I'm sorry, Dean, for thinking that what happened between us meant that you'd stop looking for your fucking exes! Silly me! I thought I was important now!"

Dean felt another wave of heat and closed his eyes, holding back from throwing anything else at Gabe's face, or just plain hit him and end everything.

"You could have told me anyway!" He said as he opened his eyes again. "It's called 'honesty'. I don't know if you heard about it."

Gabriel looked shocked for a second and then burst out laughing, almost hysterically.

"You're so fucking selfish, Dean. I can't believe it! I've been here for you, every day, I was here and I did so much for you. Did you see me do that for anyone else? You didn't, and you know why? Because I haven't seen anyone else in weeks because I was here, taking care of you!"

Dean snorted. "Right. What have you done beside eating all my food and taking advantage of my place?"

"Oh, right. I totally took advantage. Do you know how many jobs I had to say 'no' to because I knew you couldn't bear to be alone and I knew you wanted me around but you didn't want to ask? Do you have any idea what it was like seeing you have a go at all these people I found for you while I was just here? I was here, Dean and you know what? Yeah, when I got that message I didn't tell you because I thought that this time I could maybe lose you and I didn't know how I could compete with the Mighty Castiel! You think I didn't see you looking at his picture every time you think I'm not watching? I know you have it on your phone, I've seen you stare at it and smile like an idiot almost every fucking day! So, yeah, I didn't say anything. Because I thought we had something and it was worth a try!"

He was out of breath by now and he stopped, on the verge of tears. They stared at each other for a minute. Dean felt a lump forming in his throat as he opened his mouth to talk. He knew he was going to regret this but…

"You're just saying that so I won't be mad at you." He said, as calmly as he could.

He saw tears appear in Gabe's eyes and he looked away.

"You know what? Fuck you, Dean. Fuck you!" Dean saw him move in the corner of his eyes. He took a piece of paper from his pocket, a pen from Dean's table and went to fetch his phone. He opened it and wrote Castiel's number down. "Here. Go fuck your prince Charming. I'm sure you'll be very happy together."

He let the paper and pen on the table, grabbed his jacket and left, slamming the door so hard it made an empty glass on the kitchen counter fall. The glass shattered on the floor.

Dean didn't move for a while. He let his heart speed down, he tried to stop shaking. The silence seemed deafening now that Gabriel was gone.

**#**

He didn't slept much that night. He kept thinking about what Gabe had said. He kept replaying the scene in his head, again and again, and thinking about what more he could have said. There were so many things he wished he had said. But it was too late now.

Finally, as the sun came up, Dean started to feel restless. He needed to do something. He couldn't stay in bed all day.

It took him two hours to finally find the courage to pick up the piece of paper from his kitchen table. He just stared at the number for a little while more before he decided to call Castiel. Gabe had put his phone next to the piece of paper, so he pick it up too and went to sit on the couch. He took one big breath and dialed the number.

It rang a first time.

He tried to calm himself down. He knew Castiel. Even if it was a long time ago, they had been friends. Cas was his first kiss. And he was sure he was Cas's first too. Surely, he couldn't have forgotten about Dean.

It rang a second time.

And maybe he had forgotten, but Dean could remind him. There was nothing to be scared of.

It rang a third time.

What if he reached a secretary or something? He didn't know if it was Castiel's personal number. Stupid Dean, should have asked…

It rang a fourth time.

But ask who? Gabe? Right, great idea. So yeah, Dean had nothing to be anxious about. Everything was going to be fine. And even if Castiel didn't want to talk to him at least he would be sure. It was true he had fantasized about him too. And it was true he kept a picture of him on his phone. So yeah, at least it would settle that matter.

It rang a fifth time. Then it went straight to voicemail.

"_You've reached Castiel Novak's personal cell. I am not available at the moment but please, leave a message, and I'll contact you_."

There was a beep and suddenly it was Dean's turn to talk. Hearing Castiel's voice did all sort of things to him. It was a deep, grave voice that went straight to the pit of his stomach.

"Hm… Oh… Okay. Hi, Castiel it's Dean. Dean Winchester I mean. Hello! Ahah…" So lame. That was so lame. "I… uh… I don't know if you remember me, but I got your number and hm… I thought that maybe… maybe we could see each other, you know? For old times' sake. Right? I mean. You can call me. If you want to, obviously. Right. I'm going to shut up now because this is the worst message I've ever left someone. I'm pretty sure it's the worst you got too so, uh. Yeah. Here's my number…" He gave his number so quickly he wasn't sure Castiel would be able to decipher it but he was shaking all over and the call was getting pretty long by now so he decided it was time to end it. "Okay. Bye. Call me. Or not. Just… Do what you want, you know. Bye!"

He hung up, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. Well, at least he had tried.


	9. Pretty woman

It had been three days and Dean still couldn't stop thinking about Gabriel. He still thought about their fight. After a while it seemed that it was all he could remember about Gabe. The things he had said and how pissed he had been.

He had decided it would be a good idea to get out of his apartment for a day or two. So he went to his parents' place. Because, yes, he was a 34 year old man, but sometimes he still needed to spend a few days with his mom around. There was no shame to that.

He had been spending an hour or so on his dad's car (or rather under it) when he heard the noise of footsteps on gravel and he turned his head to see who was coming. He recognized his mom's shoes right away and got out from under the car. She was carrying a huge plate full of homemade cookies.

"Are you an angel?" He asked, half serious.

His mom always knew exactly when cookies were the most needed. It was like a gift. Right now Dean really, really needed some. His mind had started drifting toward Gabe again. A cookie or two would probably help.

"Stop trying to flatter me, Dean, I'm already bringing you treats." She smiled.

He stood up and hugged her before he snatched a cookie from the plate.

"Thanks mom."

He sat back against the hood of the car and started chewing thoughtfully. His mom just stared at him for a few seconds, a small reassuring smile on her face. He knew she was about to ask things he probably wouldn't want to talk about but she was his mom. He kind of had to.

"Are you okay, Dean? You've been really quiet today."

He gave her a side way look and took the time to swallow before he answered.

"I had a fight with a friend." He simply said.

"What about?"

He sighed. "Uh… It's complicated."

He stopped there. He didn't want to go into the details. But she stared some more, not saying anything, until the silence grew so heavy he had no choice but to open his mouth again.

"Long story short I trusted him. I thought… I don't what I thought but it turns out he was just using me and… You know…"

"It hurts." She stated.

He only nodded and took another bite of his cookie. She gently put her hand on his cheek until he looked at her again.

"Don't think about it too much, okay?"

He smiled sadly but nodded anyway. He was about to take another bite when his phone suddenly rang. He took it out of his pocket, expecting it to be Sam, or maybe even Gabriel, but when he looked at the screen he almost choked at the name that appeared there. It said Castiel. Castiel was calling him.

He gave a panicked look at his mom and showed her the screen. Her face lit up.

"Is that Castiel Novak? The boy you were in love with when you were little?"

He nodded.

"Answer him!" She beamed.

He looked at the screen again, hesitating for half a second before he took the call.

"He- Hello?"

Hi mom walked closer to him and their heads almost bumped as she tried to hear what Castiel would answer.

"_Dean?_"

God, that voice. His heart started beating like crazy.

"Yes?"

"_It's Castiel Novak_."

There was a beat of silence. He realized Castiel was waiting for him to say something.

"Uh… Yeah. Hi, Castiel."

"_Hi. How are you, Dean?_"

He half-laughed, baffled by how incredible it all felt. He couldn't believe he was actually talking with Castiel.

"I'm- I'm fine. I'm… really glad you called me back."

"_Well, I'm glad you called first_." Castiel answered. Dean saw his mom put her hand in front of her mouth to hold back a laugh. "_I believe you wanted us to see each other?_"

Dean couldn't help but smile like a big idiot. "Yes. Yes, that would be great."

"_Do you know the restaurant called 'Paradise'? I thought we could share a meal at the same time_."

'Paradise', wow. Okay. It was a really chic, really expensive restaurant in the upper part of town.

"Uh, yeah I've heard about it. And, yes, that's a great idea!"

"_Great_." He heard the smile in Castiel's voice. "_Let's meet there tomorrow, at eight. Is that okay?_"

His mom nodded frenetically next to him. He bit his lower lip to prevent himself from screaming like a teenage girl.

"Yes, perfect." He managed.

"_See you tomorrow then_."

"Yes, tomorrow. Bye!"

Castiel hung up then and he turned to his mom. They both started laughing at the same time. His mom hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Is there any chance I will see that man at your brother's wedding?" She asked, still smiling widely.

An awkward laugh escaped Dean's lips.

"I hope so…" He just said.

Just thinking about the possibility made him smile even more. Yes, bringing Castiel at Sam's wedding would be perfect.

**#**

He really hoped he wasn't going to have any nasty surprise this time. He was wearing a suit, for fuck's sake! He pulled on his tie as he followed the waiter around, feeling uncomfortable. He felt like his heart was stuck in his throat. Suddenly he saw Castiel from afar, and he lost the ability to think for a second.

He was sitting at a table, looking through the menu. He hadn't seen Dean yet. As Dean walked closer he was able to see him more and more clearly. He was biting his lower lip as he read and Dean couldn't help but stare. His mouth looked so perfect, just the right shade of pink, with heavy, almost pornographic lips and Gosh! All the things this mouth could do, Dean only started to imagine them before he remembered where he was and he tried to focus again. It wasn't really the time or place to get awkward boners.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he reached the table and cleared his throat. Castiel looked up, half surprised as if he was getting out of a dream and he smiled as soon as he saw Dean. Dean couldn't stop staring into the deep blue of his eyes. It was hypnotizing.

"Dean!" Castiel said, almost shyly. He stood up and indicated the chair in front of him. "Please, sit."

Dean did, resisting the temptation to pull at his tie again.

"It's really good to see you again, after all this time!" Castiel started.

Dean laughed, feeling all kinds of awkward. "It's good to see you too, Cas." He only realized what he had just said when he saw Castiel's eyes open a little in surprise. "I mean, sorry. I just… Is it okay if I call you Cas? It's- Sorry."

But Castiel smiled, almost fondly. "It's perfectly fine. I had forgotten that's how you used to call me. You're the only one who ever did that."

Dean felt himself relax a little. "Really? Well, I think it suits you. I'm sorry, I should have ask it's just… Force of habit, you know?"

"Like I said, it's okay. I like it."

Dean smiled at that, and he looked down, not knowing what to answer.

"Shall we order?" Castiel said, casually opening his menu again.

Dean nodded. They ordered something he couldn't even pronounce and Castiel did everything he could to make Dean feel at ease. And it worked. They talked and talked, and Dean barely touched his food. He was too captivated by Castiel, by everything little thing he did, like the way his eyes lit up every time Dean called him 'Cas', or the way he gave Dean those little curious looks when he thought Dean wasn't looking. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, seeing this guy who was so much more than Dean deserved looking at him like he was the 8th wonder of the world.

When dinner was over, they took a walk in the neighborhood. There was a little park nearby, with lots of trees. When they reached the center of it, Dean suddenly felt like they were alone in the world and anything could happen. With Cas, right here, he felt capable of anything.

He stopped walking and Cas stopped too, giving him a interrogating look.

"It's beautiful here." Dean just sighed.

Castiel looked around and a small smile graced his face when he looked back at Dean.

"Yes, it is."

There was a small bench, with just enough room for two people to sit close together, and Dean walked toward it. Castiel followed him and they sat down, they shoulder brushing.

"I have to admit I was really anxious to see you, but I'm glad I found the courage to call you back." Castiel suddenly said, looking at the sky.

Dean looked up too and saw that the sky was clear and stars were shining bright. He swallowed hard as he looked at Cas again. He was smiling, in that mysterious way of his, still looking up.

"I'm happy you did, too." Dean whispered. "But I told you that already."

Castiel chuckled and finally turned his head to look at him. "We should do that more often." He just said.

Dean could only nod at that. They stared at each other for a while, and Dean wondered what he could do now. What he was allowed to do. Cas's piercing blue eyes were fixed on him, and it felt like being taken apart. It felt as if Cas could see right into his soul.

He took a big breath and leaned forward. Curiously, his heart kept a steady rhythm this time. It only skipped a beat when his mouth first met Cas's. And after that his mind went blank. His hormones came into play too, to his great distress, and he crossed his legs to prevent Cas from seeing anything that would have ruined the romantic mood. After a couple of minutes it went away, and Dean interrupted the make out session.

He laughed and Castiel laughed with him.

"Can I see you Friday night?" Cas asked as he gave him another small kiss.

"Sure. I'd love it." Dean answered.

They mouths met again, moving against each other slowly.

"Great." Cas finally panted.

They were both a bit out of breath, so Dean leaned back against the bench again, a big smile on his face. Castiel was smiling too.

They stayed there for a while, but didn't kissed more. Dean didn't want to push his luck, so he walked Cas home, like a perfect gentleman. Castiel surprised him one last time when they reached his building. He pulled Dean by the neck and gave him the most incredible good night kiss Dean had ever received.

**#**

As it turned out, life with Cas wasn't always as fun as he would have expected. He often had to go to boring parties, full of obnoxious people, and so he took Dean with him most of the time. But when they spent some time just the two of them, everything was always perfect. Obviously, Dean had to take care of his appearance a bit more now, even when he was alone with Castiel. It was annoying to try and be perfect all the time, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make, if it meant keeping Cas for himself.

After all, the Novak family was pretty high standard. They were obscenely rich for one thing, and they had a certain public image to keep. Dean couldn't possibly get lazy when it came to Castiel if he ever wanted to build something with him.

So when Dean found himself bored out of his mind at another pointless party, he tried to keep smiling and keep looking like he was having the best time of his life. His stomach started to growl though, so he looked around and spotted a waiter that was carrying a huge plate full of hors-d'oeuvres.

"Mini quiche!" He exclaimed as he snatched one from the plate.

The waiter gave him a disgusted look before he spoke. "They're not quiche, they're _vole-au-vent_!"

"Well I'm sorry, but they look like mini-quiche." Dean just answered in the same tone of voice.

The waiter just raised an eyebrow and walked away.

Dean scanned the crowd as he shoved the thing in his mouth, looking for Cas. He had disappeared a while earlier with some important looking guy, and Dean was starting to wonder where he went. The brand new suit Cas had bought him was itchy, a bit too tight for Dean's taste and he couldn't wait to get home so he could take it off. Nobody was speaking to him, and frankly he didn't want to talk to anyone, and he was just so. Fucking. Bored.

He walked to one of the big ass window that gave the most amazing view of the city and just stood there. He tuned out the noise of the party and got lost in his thoughts. He thought about Gabriel, and surprisingly it didn't hurt. It didn't bring back the anger either. He just missed him, to be honest. If he was here… Well, for starters he would never set foot in those kinds of parties. But Dean would have paid good money to see it if he ever did. He'd probably eat as many _Vole-au-vents_ as he could and flirt with old ladies. Dean smiled just thinking about it.

"What are you smiling about?" Cas asked from behind him.

He was carrying two glasses of champagne and handed one to Dean.

"Nothing important." Dean answered as he took the glass.

He didn't drink it, though. He hated champagne. He had told Cas countless time he hated it.

"I'm sorry you have to wait around like this, but tonight is really important." Castiel said as he looked through the window.

"It's okay." Dean lied. "But if you don't mind, maybe I'll leave early tonight."

"Alright." Cas sighed. "I'll have a bit of time soon, so we can spend some time just the two of us. When are you available?"

Dean raised his eyebrows at him.

"Well, tomorrow. It's Sam's wedding, remember?"

Castiel finally looked at Dean, surprised. "Oh, sorry. Yes, of course, I'm sorry… I haven't checked my schedule in a while."

He looked genuinely remorseful so Dean didn't make a fuss about it.

Someone called his name and he turned around, trying to see who it was.

"I'm sorry Dean, I have to go. Again." He sighed.

Apparently he was as fed up as Dean was. It made Dean feel a bit better about himself.

"So, see you tomorrow then?"

"Of course." Castiel smiled.

Dean tried to lean forward so he could kiss him but Castiel raised his hand and pushed at his chest.

"Not here." He whispered.

He smiled again in a reassuring way and left. Dean put down the glass of champagne on a table somewhere and walked out. Once outside, he took off his tie and let out a huge contented breath. It was a really strange world Cas lived in. He didn't know if he would be able to go through another one of those parties again.

He just wanted to go home, take this hellish suit off, fall on his couch and never leave it unless he was about to die of hunger or of thirst. Which could happen before he reached his apartment because those little quiche or whatever they were hadn't really been enough. A good old hamburger would be welcome right now.

Gabriel made the best homemade hamburgers he had ever tasted. His mouth started watering at the thought of them. But now he had zero chance of tasting one ever again, because he had been stupid. Stupid enough to believe they could have had more than their friendship.

What they had before was perfect. He should never have allowed things to happen between them. If he hadn't let his guard down around Gabe maybe he would have already been home with him by now, and Dean would have told Gabriel about the waiter and the hors-d'oeuvres and they would have laughed their ass off, and it would have been the perfect end to that evening.

But, really, he had to forget about Gabe. Everything was way better without him in the picture. Sam had been so happy when he had told him Cas was going to be his date at the wedding. His mom had been happy too, and eventually she had convinced his dad. With Gabriel it would have been far more difficult.

He was about to open the door to his place (if he could manage to fit his effing key into that effing lock!) when he heard a high-pitched laugh coming from Gabe's apartment. He turned around, his key halfway into the lock. He didn't dare move for a moment, but he heard the laugh again and he felt suddenly curious.

He tip-toed to Gabe's door and he tried to listen to what was happening inside as discreetly as possible. He could hear a woman's voice, her laugh echoing in the hallway every few seconds or so. Gabriel was laughing too.

Dean felt his heart tighten a little in his chest but he tried not to acknowledge it. It didn't mean anything to him. Or it wouldn't in a few days.

He walked to his apartment again, closed the door behind him and rested his back against it. The woman's laugh still resonated in his head. She had a beautiful, very melodic laugh.

It didn't mean anything anyway. Dean had Cas now, so he had to accept that Gabriel was going to see other people, fall back into his old habits. Dean was thinking about moving out now, especially since Castiel's place was in a better neighborhood, it was way bigger and it didn't smell like dead fish in the stairway. So, yeah. Dean just had to stop thinking about Gabe. He had to stop staring at his door every time he got out or came back. Gabe wasn't going to burst out asking him to forgive him or something.

It didn't mean anything to Dean. Gabe didn't mean anything to Dean anymore.


	10. Let the right one in

Dean was late. He was so late. He had fallen asleep on the couch and forgot to set an alarm clock. And now he had to run if he wanted to reach the place where the wedding was going to be in time. Not in time for the actual wedding, he had plenty of time for that, but he had promised Sam he would be here with him from the moment his brother woke up until he would finally be married and good to go.

He stumbled a bit while trying to get into his pants then ran around his place for ten minutes looking for his suit jacket until he saw it hanging on the bathroom door. He managed to dress up properly while drinking his coffee at the same time and he could almost have impressed himself if he'd had any time to think about it.

Finally he looked around his apartment, making sure he had everything he needed and stormed out. He was so stressed out by all this that he had trouble closing his door properly. What was wrong with that fucking key?!

He heard Gabriel's door open behind him just as he managed to lock his own and he turned around, startled. Gabe was standing in front of him, no expression visible on his face. He was wearing a suit too, and Dean had to admit he looked mighty fine. He raised an eyebrow at Dean and closed his door.

Dean didn't know what to do, but he couldn't just pretend he hadn't seen him and walk past. He just couldn't because seeing Gabriel here reminded him of how it felt to have his lips on him, all over him, and it hurt so much for a second that he almost forgot where he was going.

So, yeah, he had to say something. Anything.

"Hey…" He tried, sheepishly.

"Hey." Gabriel said.

He started walking down the stairs. Dean had no choice but to follow. He was getting out too, and he couldn't just wait in front of his door until Gabe was out of view, it wouldn't have made any sense.

"Uh… Going somewhere?" Dean asked.

He didn't know what he was doing but he thought maybe he could make things a little bit better. At least until he moved out.

"Why do you care?"

He still looked like he was talking to a perfect stranger and it hit Dean right in the heart.

"I don't I just… I'm just asking."

Gabriel didn't look back, he kept going down. Faster it seemed.

"I'm going to a wedding."

"Oh, okay. Me too. Well, you know. Sam."

They reached the first floor, finally and Gabriel opened the door to the outside, waiting for Dean to go first. He reached into his pocket and took a key out of it. The double he had made of Dean's place. He threw it at Dean who caught it before it hit him in the head.

"Uh…Thanks…" Dean whispered as he got out.

Gabriel didn't answer. They went their separate way.

**#**

"Dean, where have you been?!" Sam half yelled when he saw Dean was finally here.

He looked like he was about to go crazy any minute now.

"Sorry. I'm here, what do you want me to do?"

Sam was on the verge of tears. "Nothing. This suit is too tight. Everything's ruined!"

Their heard their mother's laugh coming from behind them and they turned around at the same time to look at her.

"Don't worry, Sammy, you look perfect." She said as she walked closer.

She fixed his tie and smiled. "Here. You're so handsome. The both of you!"

"Mom please don't start crying." Sam pleaded.

Dean didn't know what to do. Maybe he was about to start crying too. Sam's anxiety was contagious.

"Okay, I won't." She laughed. "Jess sent me to tell you that there was a slight problem with the music for the ceremony. But nothing dramatic, okay?"

Sam sat heavily on one of the armchairs behind him. "What is it?"

"Nothing. The musicians aren't available anymore, they have been… delayed. But the wedding planner has a list of all the other weddings in the city today and he's going to call them all and see if one of their musician can replace ours."

Sam let his head fall into his hands. She went to sit on the arm of the chair and hugged him.

"Dean, honey, can you go and fetch something to eat for your brother? Or something to drink?"

She winked.

"On it. I'll be right back Sammy, okay?"

Sam didn't answer so Dean just did as he was told and went to find what he mom had asked for. He went back and forth between the kitchen and the room where his brother was getting ready for a good part of the morning, and finally it was time for the actual ceremony. Jess had spent some time reassuring her future husband too, so now she had to rush to get into her dress, because Sam had refused to see her before it was time and she had had to change to come and see him.

She didn't seem to mind, though. She looked like nothing could ruin her day, and she was smiling brightly at everyone. Her bridesmaids were the ones who were getting stressed out.

So everything was set, Sam was standing next to the minister, all the guests were sited and they were all waiting for the bride. They'd even found a guy among the guests who could play the violin and had volunteered to play for Jess's entrance.

Dean only had to go and sit too now. He went to where his sit was supposed to be and sat next to Castiel who had been waiting for him all morning. He had been very patient, and Dean was grateful for that. They only had time to exchange a smile before the music finally started. Everybody turned around in one swift move.

Jess was really, really beautiful. As she came close to Sam, Dean saw his brother shed a tear. And really, he had to hold his breath for a few second to prevent himself from crying too. Not that he usually was an emotional person but his brother was getting married, and it was beautiful.

Castiel took his hand at some point during the ceremony and he didn't let go until the end of it.

"You brother looks very happy." Castiel said a few hours later as they were sitting at their table.

There were a number of little round tables you could sit four people on, all placed in a huge circle. There was just one space on a side that had been cleared for the DJ, and in the middle of it a huge dancing floor. Everything was only protected by a big white tent, but it was enough. The late afternoon sun was shining bright and there was no sign of rain so far.

Dean smiled at Cas. "Yeah. He is."

He felt really proud of Sam and everything had been perfect so far. He knew he should have been feeling as happy as Sam looked but he just wasn't. He didn't know why, he just didn't understand it. But this day wasn't about him. It was about Sam. So he tried to pretend everything was fine.

His mom probably saw that something was off though, because she suddenly appeared in front of him, holding her hand out, a bright smile on her face.

"Dance with me, Dean."

Dean gave her an annoyed look but smiled anyway. He couldn't refuse her anything, and she knew it. He took her hand and she turned to Castiel.

"I'm borrowing him for a minute, you don't mind?"

Castiel laughed gently. "Not at all, Mrs. Winchester."

Dean's mom pulled him in the middle of the other people dancing and she took one of his hand and put the other on his side. They twirled around for a while before she finally spoke.

"So, everything's okay with Castiel?" She said.

Well, damn, she really knew him that well, uh?

"I- I guess. Why do you ask?"

"I spoke with your brother." Dean groaned, it made her laugh. "You know I speak with him every day, right? I have to if I want to know how you are. You never call me so he has to fill me in about you."

He tried to look away because he knew he wasn't going to like what she was going to say but she pulled at his chin until he looked at her again.

"Sam told me about you little quest." She started. He blushed. "He told me about a lot of things and there's something that worried him."

She stopped then, they kept dancing in silence until she opened her mouth again.

"You're not going to ask what he was worried about?"

Dean couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face but he rolled his eyes anyway for good measure.

"What was he worried about?"

"He said you weren't talking about Castiel much. That you spoke more about your 'annoying neighbor' than your boyfriend."

He didn't answer and looked at his feet instead.

"What is it, Dean? You know you can speak to me."

Dean nodded and looked up again. "I don't know, I mean… Cas is great, he really is! But sometimes… The way he lives, it feels a bit too much, you know?"

"Does it bother you that much?"

He sighed. "No. I mean, we went to some pretty cool places, and we always eat in the best restaurants and… and it's great. But sometimes I wish we could do more simple stuff."

She was still smiling. He liked the way it made her eyes twinkle. "Like ordering Chinese and spend the evening watching re-runs of the Little House on the Prairie?"

He laughed. "Yeah. Something like that."

"You know if you want to do that you just have to come home on Friday nights."

"You and Dad still do that?"

She nodded. "Why don't you ask Castiel if he wants to come to your place and do something like this some day?"

"Are you crazy? I can't let Cas see my place. It's small and it smells and…" He trailed off.

"And he'd maybe bump into your neighbor and you don't want that to happen?"

He raised his eyebrows, surprised. "How do you…?" He turned his head again, looking everywhere but at her. "Nevermind, I won't bring him to my apartment. I don't want him to see that dump."

She didn't say anything for a while, and they kept dancing until he realized the song had changed.

"Is your neighbor the friend you had a fight with?" She went on.

Gosh, that woman. She was never letting anything go.

"How do you know all those things?" He answered, finally looking at her again.

"I told you, I call Sam every day. He knows what happens when he doesn't answer my questions."

"I hope you don't talk about our lives with your friends from the book club…"

"I have to, Dean, you're their favorite."

"Mom…"

She laughed again and he felt her hand squeeze his own.

"Tell me about it. About him."

He stared at her for a second, bracing himself for the look he was about to get – because he was pretty sure she was going to react like Sam did – before he talked.

"He's… His name is Gabriel and Sam doesn't like him because he's not… He's not into the long-relationship thing."

"Are you sure that's why Sam doesn't like him?"

He wasn't expecting that kind of reaction.

"Well, yeah… I mean, Sam's been with Jess for forever, he thinks everyone should live his life."

"That's not what he told me. You're always putting words in your brother's mouth instead of just talking to him."

"What did he told you?"

She smiled, looking over Dean's shoulder right at Sam and Jess who were slow-dancing behind them, smiling at each other like the rest of the world didn't exist.

"He said Gabriel never introduced himself, that he let Sam believe he was waiting for you naked on your couch until you got there and the first time he heard him open his mouth was when he talked to you about a girl he lied to."

Dean didn't say anything. If it was true it was pretty rude coming from Gabe. More than rude. He couldn't believe Sam had told their mom that Gabe was naked.

"You have to admit Sam didn't get a good first impression."

Dean sighed.

"But he's not like that when you get to know him. We had some great times together and he's… He's natural? I guess you could say… I mean he doesn't care a lot about what people think but I guess he got intimidated by Sam after all I told him but… Really he's a nice guy, he's so easy to be around when he's comfortable… I don't know why Sam didn't told me about that."

"So why did you fight?"

Dean stopped moving, he let go of her hand. "Nothing important. We just did."

She just kept smiling. He didn't know how she did it. She was always smiling. Like nothing was worth worrying, ever. But he could see he hadn't fooled her despite the smile. "That bad, uh?"

She took him by the arm and she walked him out of the dancing area. He spotted Castiel still sitting at their table, looking at them with a questioning look on his face. He looked back at his mom.

"He helped me found people. He's the one who found Cas's number but he didn't tell me about it. He waited until he… Until we…" He couldn't really talk about that with his mom, this was so awkward. "Anyway I found out about it and, you know… We fought and that's it. End of that story."

"So now you're with Castiel."

"Yeah. And he's great. I'm happy with him."

She sighed and turned her head to look at Cas.

"I always told myself I should never interfere with your love affairs, the both of you, and I always kept to that rule, even when you dated that weird gothic girl… But Dean." She looked up at him again. "You looked happier in those few minutes we talked about your neighbor than you did all day every time you were around Castiel. I think maybe you should think about that."

She finally let go of him as they reached his table again. He sat down and looked at her go. She fetched his father and he kept watching them as they danced. And what she had just said kept turning in his head.

And suddenly he felt like some great weight had been lifted from his heart and he let out a huge breath.

She was right. She was so right. He knew he couldn't live like this. He remembered all those times he was with Cas but thinking about Gabe and now that she had opened that door for him he couldn't close it again. He had to see Gabriel. Right now. He had to, he just had to find out if there was still a chance, if maybe Gabe could forgive him for being the biggest jerk in the whole city, because yeah, he could admit it now, even to himself : he had been a huge ass that night when they had their fight, and that was why he had felt so bad and so guilty this morning when he had seen Gabriel for the first time in days. And he had felt the familiar pull of want and need and he had almost said it, almost but he couldn't get it out because he was too ashamed. _I miss you_. So fucking much.

Well now was the day to say it and see what would happen.

He came back to reality when he saw the familiar shape of Cas standing in front of him, holding his hand out.

"Do you want to dance?" He asked.

He looked happy to be here and it broke Dean's heart a little to have to do this but he really couldn't take it anymore.

He nodded and took Cas's hand and followed him until they reached an empty space and started dancing. He knew he should have probably waited until the wedding was over but he couldn't. He just had to go now.

"Cas… I need to tell you something."

Cas smiled when he heard the nickname. Dean's heart started beating faster.

"What is it, Dean?"

He let out a breath. "I'm so, so sorry, Cas, I really am and… there's no easy way to say this but… I'm not the right guy for you."

Castiel just froze and look at him with a frown. Dean saw his mom looking at him from a table a little farther away. She was smiling sadly, but there was nothing judgmental about that look. It gave him a bit of courage and he looked at Cas again, right into his eyes.

"I mean, you're perfect!" He went on. "And I'm not, and… You deserve someone who's perfect like you, and I deserve someone who's kinda rude like me, and doesn't like to wear suits or eat some fancy food with weird names like me and… That's not you, I know it's not, and I can't pretend I'm your kind of guy anymore either. It just doesn't work."

Castiel let go of Dean, holding his fists furiously at his side.

"Are you breaking up with me? At your brother's wedding?"

"I'm sorry but yes. I just... I need to go."

And he left him here, in the middle of the dance floor, and as he stepped away, even he felt guilty, he also felt lighter with each step that took him closer to Gabriel. He felt sorry for Cas but he knew that eventually he would forget about Dean anyway, and he would find some nice lady he could take to his dinner parties without feeling ashamed. It was all for the best.

Dean started running. He needed to find his brother.

* * *

**A/N :** Last update before the end, peeps! Next time you'll get two chapters (if everything goes according to plan), because i'm nice like that :D See you Tuesday!


	11. There's something about Gabriel

Sam. He needed to find Sam. He couldn't leave his brother's wedding like this without saying anything.

He finally spotted him after a while. Sam was walking toward his mom, holding Jess' hand and pulling her around behind him. She was laughing. They were beautiful.

Dean turned around and saw that Castiel was gone. He had probably gone home after what Dean had told him. But Dean didn't have time to feel guilty right now. He would. Later.

He almost ran to where his family was, probably looking half crazy by now.

"Dean? What's happening to you?" Sam asked, visibly startled.

"I'm sorry Sammy I can't explain but I need to go."

Jess looked surprised too. "Why? What happened? Where's Castiel?"

Dean gave a quick look at his mom. "Uh, I… Broke up with him. Long story."

"You did what?" Sam asked, looking like he was about to punch him. "Why would you do that? Today?"

"I know, I'm sorry Sammy, but it's… it's complicated okay."

"He's in love Sam, give him a break." His mom intervened. She looked so proud of herself.

Dean and Sam both turned their head in her direction at the same time.

"He's what?"

"I'm not!"

Jess was beaming now, staring at Dean, her interest picked. "Is it your neighbor? Tell me it's your neighbor!"

She looked so excited that Dean could do nothing but laugh awkwardly at that. He gave Sam an annoyed look.

"Is there anyone in this family you don't go ranting about my life to?"

Sam didn't answer his question, but he still looked a bit mad.

"Look, Sam, I owe you an apology, okay? I'm sorry I shut you off and… I'm sorry about what Gabe did when you came to my place, he's… I think he was a bit intimidated."

Sam snorted. "That's the last word I'd us to describe him."

"I know… But Sam, I promise you he's a good guy, you just have to get to know him, I swear. I'll get him to apologize too if I… If he wants to forgive me. I don't know if he'll talk to me at all because I acted like an ass. With you, with him. And I'm sorry for that."

Sam crossed his arms in front of his chest and let out a small sigh.

"So you're going to find Gabriel?"

"Yep."

"Because you're in love?" He added with a self-satisfied smile.

"Ye- No! I'm not- I just think we- we go great together. He, uh… makes me happy. That's all."

He looked expectantly at his brother who was still staring down at him as if he was thinking about all this.

"Okay Dean. But before you leave…" He let his arms fall at his side and took Jess' hand in his. "I owe you an apology too, I'm sorry I was so stressed out those last few weeks."

Dean chuckled, trying to clear the air. Everything felt too serious. "It's okay, you were getting married and everything."

"No it's not just that. It was because of that, yes, a bit but there's something else…" He gave Jess a quick look and he smiled.

His mom raised an eyebrow and Dean just stood there, waiting for him to spill it out. Sam kept a goofy smile on his face as he started speaking again.

"We're pregnant!" He let out.

Dean blinked. His mom just gaped at Jess and Sam.

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed.

"Are you kidding?" Dean finally managed.

Sam just shook his head 'no', looking like he was about to cry again. Their mom stood up and hugged Jess. They both started chatting happily in hushed tones.

"Wow… uh… You're gonna be a dad?"

Sam nodded. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Sam finally pulled him into a hug as well. Dean couldn't believe it. It made him forget about Gabriel for a second.

"I suck at handling kids." Was all he could think to say.

Sam laughed. "It's okay, I'll teach you."

They let go of each other, and suddenly Dean remembered.

"I really need to go now."

Sam pushed him away, a little smile still playing on his lips. "You better get back here tonight. With the guy. And tell him to behave this time!"

Dean started walking away. "I will!"

He ran.

**#**

He had managed to steal the list of all the other weddings in the city that day and he was now sitting in a taxi in the middle of traffic. Night was falling, he had already crashed two weddings unsuccessfully and now he was starting to get mad.

He couldn't wait to see Gabe but he didn't know where to find him and it just made him feel twitchy and on edge.

The car wasn't moving anymore. There was too much traffic. He couldn't stay in there anymore. He had to do something or else he was going to go crazy. He looked outside the window and got out the whisky jug he had stolen from his dad out of his jacket. His emptied the jug in one go. Damn, the stuff his dad drank was strong! They were inside the city now, and one quick look at the list told him there were three wedding not far from where he was. He could go on foot. Probably. If he didn't run too much.

He paid for the ride, thanked the driver and got out as fast as he could. He ended up running and running and running until he couldn't feel his legs anymore and every breath he took felt like it was burning his lungs.

Gabe wasn't at the first wedding he managed to find. He wasn't at the second either. Dean was starting to panic slightly. He should have just waited at the apartment, he suddenly thought. He was so stupid. He just couldn't think straight when it came to Gabriel. The thought made him laugh as he started running again, avoiding the people on the streets as best as he could. Well he was here, now, he just had to keep looking. And maybe, if he couldn't find Gabriel after this one, he'll go back to his place. Maybe he'll phone the guy, if Gabe was willing to answer him it would make things easier. But he really wanted to do this face to face, though.

So he kept running.

Finally he found the third wedding who was taking place in a nice little park. They were an awful lot of people, and Dean had had trouble getting in without being noticed by the guy who was checking the entrance.

He took a minute or two hidden behind a bush to find his breath again. He wasn't sure he was going to get out of this night alive if he kept going like this. He was starting to get light-headed from the whisky too. While he was resting, he took a look at all the people either sitting at tables or walking around the premises, chatting happily a drink in hand. He couldn't see Gabe anywhere.

He sighed, feeling defeated. It was getting hard to make out faces in the dim light of the little lamps that were scattered all around the guests. How could he find Gabe among all those people, if really he was here? Maybe he had missed him, maybe he was somewhere else. Maybe he was back at his place by now.

A waiter walked past him and he had to quickly fall down on his stomach so that the guy wouldn't see him. He looked up again, and checked the crowd one last time for good measure. He started to notice they were an awful lot of waiters. They also were a few security guards walking around. The newlyweds were probably important people. There was no way Gabe would be invited to that kind of wedding.

He stood up. A really nice looking waitress caught his eyes. Or rather her bright red hair caught his eyes. He kept watching her as she walked around, a tray in hand, taking empty glasses from the guests and replacing them with filled ones. When her tray was empty, she quickly walked to another waiter that Dean could barely see from where he stood, whispered something in his hear and walked away. The waiter she had been talking to started following her but she turned around and waved him away. Dean could see she was telling him she could manage on her own. The waiter seemed to sigh and he turned around.

It was Gabriel. He couldn't believe his luck.

"Oh, thank God!" Dean whispered.

He didn't need to think twice about this. He got up quickly, walked around the bushes so that people wouldn't notice him and he ended up behind Gabriel, finally, just a few feet away from him. There was no subtle way to do this and he really wanted to speak to Gabe in private so he just kept walking, grabbed Gabriel by an arm and pushed him in a dark corner behind what looked like a tool shack where nobody would see them.

"Hey! What are you-" Gabe started. "Dean? What the fuck are you doing here?"

Dean smiled apologetically. God, seeing Gabriel felt so good. Maybe it was the alcohol talking but he looked even hotter than usual in his waiter uniform.

"I could ask you the same question." He answered.

"What does it look like? I'm _working_, Dean. I don't have time for this."

He started walking away but Dean held him back. "Please, hear me out okay? I swear I'll leave you alone after this. Just… Hear me out, Gabe, it's important."

Gabriel just glared at him.

"Please?"

Dean looked at him expectantly. He glared some more and finally let out a breath.

"You have five minutes." He said, looking annoyed.

Dean smiled, half laughing. It was a small victory but it felt really good and it gave him a bit of courage for what was to come. Now he has to find the words.

"You… It feels weird to see you working." He let out.

If looks could kill, Dean would be so dead right now.

"Not that it doesn't suit you, I mean, the suit, it's… Nice and-"

"Dean."

"Okay, okay. Just, give me a second. I'm not good at that talking thing okay?"

He closed his eyes, inhaling once, then exhaling and he opened them again. Gabriel still looked pretty pissed.

"Okay here goes… Gabe. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I acted like a moron with you about the… about Cas and I was wrong and I'm sorry. Sincerely."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow but he seemed to relax a little. "Go on." He just said.

"And… hum…Okay, this is the hard part." He took another breath. "I uh… I miss you, okay? So much, you have no idea. I mean, it's my fault, I know, I just got what I wanted, I got Cas but… He's a pretty boring guy. Compared to you everybody is boring. Cas is nice and all but man, the things I had to go through for him… I ate so many mini-quiches, I swear I'm never going near the stuff again."

Gabriel let his arms fall at his side.

"What are you getting at, Dean? I'm on the clock here."

"I'm… God this is really hard for me okay? I'm trying."

"Well try harder, I need to go back to work."

"I just… I need to find the right words. I mean, I know what I should be saying but I don't think I can get them out they're just… It's difficult."

"Yeah, you're sorry, I heard that. And you miss me. Awesome! Now will you leave? You're not even supposed to be here."

"No… There's something else."

"Then tell me!"

Dean stared at Gabriel, wondering what to do next. He knew what he had to say. Gabe looked really pissed, and maybe a bit disappointed. Dean knew the words. He knew them. He knew he… Loved. He loved Gabe. He could say it. He had to say it. It wasn't that complicated, really_. I love you. I love you._

He tried to push the words out, but they stayed stuck in his throat. Damn. Gabriel looked like he was about to leave, he had to do something.

"Dean I'm sorry but I can't-"

"I love you."

Here. Simple. He had said it. Finally. They stared at each other. Gabe's eyes opened a bit wider. Dean just waited, standing so still he felt like his whole body was made of lead. His heart was beating so hard and so fast it felt like it was trying to burst through his ribs. He felt dizzy.

Some fireworks exploded behind Gabriel, and suddenly the air was filled with oh's and ah's coming from all the guests. They applauded as the last sparkles coming from the small explosion fell from the sky.

"You're a fucking moron." Finally came Gabriel's reply, calm and composed.

Dean could only look down at his feet so that he wouldn't have to see the expression on Gabe's face as he was about to reject him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"I love you too, shitface!"

Dean looked up again, surprised. He couldn't help the half-laugh, half-relief sigh that came out of his mouth. Gabriel looked even more annoyed than before but this time he was smiling too. He pulled Dean toward him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him. And Dean kissed him back and laughed into the kiss because it was all he had hope for and more. For the first time in months he felt free. Free from pretending to be someone he was not, free from the responsibility he thought he had toward Sam and his family, free from the guilt he had felt all this time.

He was in love, and he had Gabe and it felt so fucking good.

When they finally let go of each other they were both panting. Dean would have given anything if it meant Gabriel could take him right here, right now, in front of all those people, he didn't even care. He wanted him so bad, had waited so long for him. It was probably the alcohol talking but he didn't give a shit.

"Let's go home." He whispered against Gabe's mouth.

Gabriel just laughed and kissed him again, sucking at Dean's lower lip for a second before he answered.

"So you don't mind going over your number anymore, uh?"

"Yeah, don't care. I surrender, you can have me, any way you want."

Gabriel seemed to lose his voice for a second and he stared at Dean, eyes full of lust.

"I can't, Dean. I'm working."

"You have to come with me to Sam's wedding anyway. I promised him. That's the only reason he allowed me to leave to come find you."

"I can't leave work now, I only have three hours to go."

Dean looked around. He saw four, five waiters and waitresses attending to the guests. They were three more smoking a cigarette, all standing in a circle, far away from the crowd. They were also some people in uniform who were taking care of the food.

"They won't see you're gone. Come on, Gabe…" He started kissing Gabriel's neck as he spoke. "Come with me. They won't notice you're gone."

Gabriel let out a small whimper as Dean's hand landed on his ass and squeezed it.

"I- I can't, it's really well paid. If I do my job right they'll take me back for some other s-stuff- Dean!"

But Dean had given up resisting and he had fallen on his knees

"Dean, what are you doing? Are you- Are you drunk?"

Dean looked up. "Uh, just a bit tipsy." He smiled. "But you know I think you'll like drunk-Me. Way kinkier than regular-Me."

He wriggled his eyebrows in a suggestive way, just like Gabe used to do when they were just flirting.

"Please, Dean, if you could just wait three more hours…" He bit his lower lips.

"Okay but on one condition."

"What?"

Dean started tugging at Gabriel's pants, trying to undo his belt.

"Just, let me-" He managed to open the belt and he unbuttoned the pants. He gently put a kiss on Gabriel's thigh, the fabric soft under his lips. "Let me have a taste…" He pulled the zipper down and pushed the pants down Gabriel's legs. "And when I'm done I'll let you finish your shift."

He looked up. Gabriel was flushed and Dean could see from the corner of his eyes that he was hard. He could almost feel Gabe's blood pulsing through his dick. Gabriel gave a quick look around and sighed. After a few second he finally nodded.

Triumphant, Dean pushed Gabe against the little cabin they were hiding behind and he yanked his underwear out of the way. He could barely see what was in front of him but he figured it didn't matter for now. He didn't need his eyes for this. He slowly bent down a little and he stopped when he felt the soft skin of Gabriel's shaft under his lips. He kissed it, once, twice, moving up, until he reached the tip and gave a tentative lick. He heard Gabriel take a breath above him and it send his blood rushing down.

He was suddenly very aware of all the noises around them. The guests talking, the music. The sound of people in general. It turned him on even more.

Yeah, he was pretty drunk.

He took it all in his mouth and started sucking, his head bobbing up and down, his tongue drawing circles around the tip whenever he could reach it. Gabriel's hand came to pull at his hair, and Dean could hear him try to hold back his moans. He was just breathing through his nose, slowly, shakily, but Dean wanted to hear his voice. Just once would be enough.

He adjusted his position, holding himself up on his knees, and he started giving long licks, twirling his tongue around Gabriel's dick as one of his hand slid between Gabe's legs. Gabriel let him do it, and he parted his leg a bit wider. Dean looked up and saw that he was watching him, mouth half-open, and maybe looking a bit surprised by all of this. It was probably a side of Dean he hadn't expected.

Well, Dean was very happy to let him discover it. He started massaging Gabe's balls for a few seconds before he realized he had nothing to use as lube. He pushed himself away and started sucking at his fingers, looking Gabriel straight in the eyes.

He quickly got back to sucking Gabriel's dick though when he saw the look he was giving him. He laughed as he took him in mouth again and his hand went back between Gabriel's thighs to rub at his hole. He kept sucking, kept teasing Gabriel's slit with his tongue while he pushed a finger inside him. It felt a bit rough and it probably hurt a little for Gabe but one quick look told him that Gabriel didn't really care about a bit of pain right now. His eyes were closed, his head thrown back. He was panting hard and Dean could feel his thighs shaking under his free hand.

He hardened his tongue against Gabriel's shaft, teasing his hole a bit more vigorously once it started sliding in and out easily until finally Gabriel let out a small moan, nearly a whimper and he stopped breathing for a second. His dick started pulsing harder in Dean's mouth and he came, and Dean tried to swallow everything he had to give as best as he could. He only managed to hold a bit in his mouth and the rest started dripping on his chin but he didn't mind. He removed his finger, slowly, and licked everything clean before he sat back on his heels and looked up, a smug smile on his face.

Gabriel was still in the same position, eyes closed. He let out a huge breath and slid slowly against the wall of the tool shack, until his butt touched the floor. Only then he opened his eyes and he tried to give Dean a reproachful look but he failed. Dean laughed as he wiped the come from his face with the back of his hand.

"Okay, you can go back to work now." Dean said.

Gabriel lifted up his ass and tried to pull his underwear and pants up.

"That was cruel." He answered.

But he was half laughing too as he tried to put everything back into place and close his belt again. Dean didn't say anything after that, he just sat back against a bush, feeling too dizzy, too hyper to move. He wasn't sure if it was because of the alcohol or because of what they had just done. After a few second of just looking at each other while trying to catch their breath again, Gabriel put himself up on his knees and crawled toward Dean. He kissed him deep one last time before he pulled back, sighing loudly.

"You just wait for me wherever you can, okay?" He stood up. "I'll come get you right here in three hours, got me?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Gabriel huffed and, shaking his head in mocked disapproval, he pushed himself up with a groan and walked back to where the group of smoking waiters were standing.

Dean couldn't stop smiling. After Gabriel was gone he stayed right where he was, and he kept smiling. He had him now. And he was never letting him go.


	12. In the mood for love

Dean held back the moan that wanted to come out of his mouth as long as he could. But with Gabriel's tongue lapping at his hole like this he wasn't going to hold on for long. But he liked teasing Gabe and Gabe liked teasing him and so they often played that little game they never really talked about that consisted of holding back any sound, not giving the satisfaction until really it wasn't bearable anymore and they had to let everything out. This time it was Dean's turn to undergo Gabe's ministration and if there was one thing that Gabriel was good at it was this. Teasing, always teasing, taking his sweet time, going oh-so slowly until he got a sound out of Dean and then there was no stopping him.

Sometimes he even dragged it out on purpose so that the game would last longer. He liked foreplay. He liked it very much.

Dean was spread on his bed, on his back, both legs hooked up over Gabriel's shoulder. The morning sun was making Gabe's hair shine even brighter, highlighting the muscles of his arms, and it made the view even more erotic than Dean thought possible. It made his dick twitch against his belly as Gabriel kept deliciously licking his hole, up and down, slowly, sometimes hardening his tongue to draw little patterns on Dean's skin. Dean couldn't stand it anymore. He had to touch himself. He had to come right now. He didn't care if not even two minutes ago he had promised Gabe he would hold back. He reached down, taking his dick in hand to finally find some release but Gabriel slapped his hand away.

"Uh-uh" He whispered against Dean's hole, making it twitch. "No touching."

Dean answered with a faked moan, but Gabriel just raised an eyebrow at him as he kept opening him with his tongue, making him understand he knew what Dean was doing. He kept going for a while, going even slower if it was possible, and Dean knew he had made a big mistake. It was going to be very long, and very good, and he was going to be thoroughly punished for wanting to finish this quickly.

Well, he only half minded. Sex with Gabriel was awesome.

He reached down again, this time to let his hand rest in Gabe's hair and closed his eyes. He let his fingers slide in it, pushing on Gabriel's head a bit. Gabe hummed as he did and Dean felt a shudder run along his whole body as he held his breath for a second.

Gabriel set up a faster pace then and Dean had to bit on his lower lip to prevent any sound from escaping his mouth. He tried to breathe steadily through his nose, but Gabe sure knew what he was doing. Dean felt his hand run under his thigh playfully and came to rest on his hip, a couple of inches away from his shaft. He couldn't help himself. It was so, so good but he needed more and so he let go of Gabriel's head and lifted his legs, his hands under his knees to pull them as far as they would go against his chest to give Gabe better access. The bastard slowed down then and Dean huffed with what he hoped would be understood as annoyance. Gabriel chuckled as he kept eating him out and Dean opened his eyes again to give him a disapproving glance. But as soon as he did he felt his breath catch in his throat and he forgot everything for a second. Gabe was looking at him with a mischievous smile on his face, holding his tongue out so that Dean could have a good look at what he was doing and God! It was so filthy that Dean wasn't sure if the heat he felt coming to his cheek was because he felt a bit embarrassed by how dirty he must have been looking or because seeing Gabriel like this was so fucking hot his blood didn't know where to go anymore. He let his head rest on the pillow behind his head and just stared at the ceiling. If he kept looking he knew he wasn't going to last long.

Gabriel started to go faster again, this time pushing his mouth hard against Dean's hole, his tongue pushing harder as he started opening Dean with it. Dean felt his thighs starting to shake. His arms were killing him. He let go of his legs but kept them parted on either side of Gabriel's head and let his hand fall at his side. Gabe apparently took that as a clue because he removed one of his hand from under Dean's thigh and slowly, so, so slowly let it run up until he finally got a grip of Dean's dick and started stroking. Dean was breathing so hard through his nose he couldn't hear anything but his own breathing and the delicious, filthy sounds Gabriel's tongue was making. He really had to work hard to keep any moan or whimper from leaving his mouth now, and he bit harder on his lip. Gabe was pushing his tongue inside him now. He knew Dean liked it. A lot. Dean could almost feel his smile against his skin. Smug bastard.

He tried to relax to allow Gabriel more access, and he started swearing in his head, as loud as his mind would allow, to prevent himself from saying anything. _Shit_. Gabriel's hand started stroking faster, in sync with his tongue. Dean's hand tightened in the sheets. _Fuck_. _Shit_. Dean was losing it. He was biting on his lip so hard he could almost taste blood. _God_.

Suddenly Gabe pulled away and he almost screamed in frustration. He kept looking at the ceiling though. If he moved he knew he would get distracted and lose. And he didn't want to lose right away. This was too good. Gabriel knew exactly how to keep him on edge, on the verge of orgasm, and it was never too much or too little. It was just fucking good.

He heard Gabriel move a bit and suddenly his tongue was on Dean's cock and he bit back a moan. Instead he let out a breath through his nose and closed his eyes._ Shit_. _Shit_. _Shit_. Gabriel's tongue started playing with the tip of his shaft while his hand kept stroking. _Shit_. Dean felt his thumb rubbing at his hole, pushing a bit, but never too far, and he knew that Gabe was getting impatient now because he was so close. _Fuck_. _Shit_. _Fuck_. He couldn't think anymore. The noises Gabriel was making were exaggeratingly obscene but now he could barely hear them over the sound of his own ragged breathing. _Fucking hell_. _Holy fuck!_

How or when Gabe had found the time to grab some lube and use it, Dean didn't even know, but he suddenly felt a slick finger pushing at his hole. _FuckFuckFuck!_ He was biting so hard on his lip he couldn't feel the pain anymore. _ShitFuckShitShitShit_. Gabriel pushed his finger all the way. His mouth on Dean's shaft was incredibly hot and he kept doing that _thing_ with his tongue and- _FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckin_- He kept his finger inside and pushed and suddenly he hit the perfect spot and Dean couldn't-

"Fuck!" He exhaled, letting go of his lip. "Fuck, Gabe I'm gonna-"

But Gabriel let go of everything and by the time Dean opened his eyes again he had pushed himself up and was looking at Dean a playful smile on his face. He bend down and kissed Dean gently on the lips.

"You're fucking cruel, you know that?" Dean whispered against his mouth.

Gabriel just laughed and went to kiss his neck, licking, sucking at the skin almost lazily. Dean sighed, trying to catch his breath and get his dick to calm down a little. After a few seconds of breathing in and out slowly everything was back under control. His dick was still hard though, painfully so, and he started wriggling under Gabriel. Gabriel's hand slid down Dean's body, so softly it almost tickled, and he caught Dean's lips with his mouth as his fingers found Dean's entrance again.

Dean let out a sigh of relief when Gabriel's finger was back all the way inside him and he lifted one of his hand to let it rest in Gabe's hair while the other was rubbing slow circles on his back. Gabriel let out a contented sigh at that, and he pushed another finger in. He kept pushing in and out slowly, the palm of his hand slightly brushing Dean's sack as he did, sending little sparks or lazy pleasure up Dean's spine every time. Finally, Gabriel pushed himself away a little, letting go of Dean's mouth. He grabbed the lube that was laying on the bed and quickly prepared himself. He threw the bottle on the ground and it bounced on the floor once before disappearing under Dean's wardrobe.

Dean would have laughed at that if Gabe hadn't suddenly grabbed his left leg and hooked it up over his shoulder, pushing his hips forward until Dean felt the tip of his cock teasing at his entrance. He smiled smugly at Dean, not saying anything, just waiting. Gabriel wasn't very vocal during sex. He wasn't the type of guy who screamed, or even cursed or swore. He wasn't the dirty talk kind of person either. Instead he just had different type of smile that Dean was learning to read. When Dean was really good, he could maybe get a moan or two out of him. And Dean wouldn't have thought it would turn him on that much, the silent type. But with Gabe, every noise was like a gift from God. And anyway, Dean talked enough for the both of them.

He smiled back, pushing his hips up as much as this position could allow.

"Come on…" He whispered, lifting his arms and letting them rest on either side of his head.

Gabriel just smiled wider and pushed, slowly, all the way until he was buried deep inside of Dean and he stopped for a second. He drew lazy circles with his hips and bent down, pushing Dean's leg impossibly far to give him one quick kiss and he pushed himself up again, a hand on Dean's knee and holding himself up with the other.

He pulled out, slowly too, until he was almost entirely out and snapped his hips forward, pushing in in one go. Dean let out a breath, feeling a burst of pleasure shooting up his spine, but he stayed very still, staring into Gabriel's eyes. He did it again. Once. Twice. A third time and he closed his eyes suddenly, breathing hard as he bottomed out and stopped. It only lasted a second though. He opened his eyes again, holding Dean's gaze, and he moved again, picking up a steady rhythm, still slow but fast enough that there were no pauses between the little bursts of pleasure now. Dean's leg was still hooked over Gabriel's shoulder and his thigh started to shake again, and it hurt a little but he didn't mind. It was nothing he couldn't take.

Usually at that stage, he would have started to talk. To say anything that went through his mind, the dirtiest things to get a sound out of Gabriel, or sometimes a blush when he went a bit too far. But today he couldn't. He couldn't look away from Gabriel's eyes. There were so many things going on there. He knew what it was. Sometimes, they didn't have sex. Sometimes they made love. This was one of those times. Sex was important, and it was fun, but sometimes like today it felt special. It was different.

As he looked at Gabriel, all sweaty, frowning with the effort but with his perfect, self-satisfied smile still in place, he couldn't help but feel a surge of love all of a sudden. Not that he didn't love him as much any other time but right now, in this moment, he could almost physically feel it. He felt it, pulsing through his body, following the rhythm of the blood pumping through his vein. _LoveLoveLove_. _LoveLoveLove_. His heart was beating so fast he could almost hear it.

He lifted his hand and grabbed Gabe's neck, pulling him toward him. His hip was killing him but he couldn't care less right now. He kissed Gabriel almost desperately and Gabriel lost his rhythm for a second. He huffed in Dean's mouth but he kept going, this time faster as he set his pace to match the rhythm of the kiss. Dean kept stroking his neck, letting his hand roam through Gabriel's hair while his other hand was holding on to his pillow as if his life depended on it.

Out of breath, Gabriel let go of his mouth but he stayed close, his forehead touching Dean's own and he moved his hips a little, adjusting his angle until he found Dean's prostate, drawing a long moan out of him. The position was just right, Dean's ass just at the perfect height with his leg folded against his chest and he had to close his eyes. The pleasure was overwhelming, curling low in his belly, shooting through his whole body every time Gabriel snapped his hips against his ass. He could have held the moans that were escaping his mouth but it was so much better to let it all out, and Gabriel loved it. He hooked his other leg behind Gabriel's lower back to relieve a bit of the pressure on his thigh. Gabe was panting hard, groaning when Dean pushed back on his dick. The sound, or maybe the newly found position, sent a fresh wave of pleasure through his body.

"God, Gabe, don't stop! Don't stop! God, I'm so close, so close-"

Finally, finally, Gabriel moaned, Dean could hear he was trying to hold it in but he kept pushing his hips to meet Gabriel's and he did it again and that was it. His grip in Gabriel's hair tightened, and he knew he was probably pulling a little too hard on it but he couldn't think as his orgasm hit him, pleasure flowing through his body as Gabriel kept going in and out, faster and more erratically now. He felt his ass clenched around Gabe and Gabe came with a sharp cry and he _felt_ Gabriel's orgasm, adding to his own, increasing the pleasure and making it reach new heights he didn't even know human beings could reach.

His mind went blank, truly blank for a second and he barely registered that Gabriel had let himself fall heavily on him, pushing his leg aside. The world came rushing back to him and he was suddenly aware of how hard they were both breathing, how sweaty he was, and how much his hip and thigh hurt.

"God…" He breathed.

"Please, call me Gabriel." Gabe mumbled in his chest.

Dean tried to laugh but he was too exhausted.

"I think you broke my hip." He said instead.

" 'was totally worth it."

"I'm with you on that one… But just… Don't move for a minute, okay?"

Gabriel chuckled. "Okay."

They stayed like this for a few minutes, catching their breath. Dean's hand was still in Gabriel's hair and after a while he started playing with it, his other hand drawing random patterns on Gabe's lower back. Gabriel let out a contented sigh and closed his eyes. They smelled like sweat and sex, but Dean didn't really mind. Everything felt good, even the pain in his hip. He would probably regret it in a few hours, or the day after, but for now it was good pain.

"Do you think your family will like me?" Gabe suddenly asked.

And Dean had to blink a few times because he didn't know where that was coming from.

"Do we really need to talk about my family when we're both naked and covered in come?"

Gabriel huffed a laugh.

"I'm serious, Dean."

And then Dean remembered. Right. In two days. Family dinner. Sam and Jesse were going to announce the sex of their baby and they were both invited to Mary and John's. First time Gabe was going to be properly introduce, if they didn't count the wedding night. It had been a pretty hectic night to be honest.

"You're scared to meet my parents sober?"

Gabriel nodded.

"My mom loves you. And my dad will get around eventually. It's going to be great. And they don't have a choice anyway. I'm not letting you go any time soon."

He dropped a small kiss on Gabriel's head.

"I'm more scared of your brother, frankly. He's huge. And scary."

Dean snorted.

"Sammy? Scary? He's a huge teddy bear. Even more so now that Jess is pregnant. He's so into it, man… He even grew a little belly, seriously." Gabriel laughed. "I tell you, the only thing he's gonna do to you is hug you to death probably."

"If you say so…"

Suddenly the phone rang, but Dean was too comfortable to even dare move. Gabriel started to push himself up and away but Dean pulled him back against him.

"Let it ring, it'll go to voicemail."

Gabriel shrugged and closed his eyes again as he settled against Dean. The phone stopped ringing and there was a loud "beep", letting them know the call had gone to voicemail.

"_Uh, hello Dean. It's… hum… Garth, from the cow-boy party_." Gabriel opened his eyes suddenly and propped himself up on his elbow. "_Listen man, there's this guy who called me a while back… He said he was calling all the people you slept with? I mean, this is pretty weird but he said to call you back so… Uh, yeah. Anyways, this is awkward. Dean, I don't know how to say this but you were so wasted that night, you tried to do that weird lap dance thing to me, but you kind of threw up in your mouth…_" Gabriel held back a laugh. "_Twice, actually_." And finally he let it out and he couldn't stop. Dean shushed him. He felt his cheeks go red. "_And hm… Since you were covered in puke you took off your clothes and you locked yourself up in the bathroom and you fell asleep on the toilets. I just tucked you in bed man, I didn't touch you. It was my hotel room though so I wasn't going to leave… I didn't have the guts to tell you the next morning but… We haven't actually slept together, whatever that means to you. So, please, tell the guy who called me I said that. And just… Don't call me back, okay?_"

He hung up then and Gabriel and Dean just stared at each other. Gabe had that big smile on his face that meant he was trying not to laugh at Dean.

"Sooo… Does that mean…" He started, still smiling.

"You're number twenty?" Dean finished, stunned.

Gabriel nodded. "I guess I am. Are you going to ask me to marry you?" He asked, smugly.

Dean gave him an incredulous look but he couldn't help smiling. "Would you say yes?"

Gabriel pretended to think about it before kissing Dean lightly.

"Maybe. Depends on what your father will give me. Would you say you're worth two or three cows?"

Dean huffed a laugh and hit him with a pillow. Gabriel laughed at that and pushed himself away, trying to run from Dean, but Dean pushed him on his back and held him there, Gabriel's wrists held tight between his hands. It came back, the sound of _LoveLoveLove_, running through his vein like it was giving him life. A new life filled with Gabriel.

He bent down and kissed him and he tried to make him understand how strongly he felt. How he had never felt that way before. How he never would for another person again. Or at least that was what it felt like right now. When he pulled back, Gabriel was looking at him fondly. He cocked his head on the side, as if he was looking for something. Then his smile grew brighter as if he had found it.

"I love you too." He whispered.

Dean smiled back and hid his face in Gabriel's neck.

"Dumbass." Gabriel added.

Dean laughed in his hair. Should have been illegal to feel this happy. He didn't have a job, didn't have a purpose in life but it didn't matter anymore. He could find a job. He could find another purpose. Now he had Gabriel. The emptiness inside of him was gone. He was done stressing over his future, because he knew that no matter what he would do, he would have Gabe with him, and that was more than okay.

And as they said, there was no time like the present anyway, right?

* * *

**A/N** : Here you go, peeps! I hope you enjoyed yourself, because I sure did while writing this! Thanks for the comments too, they're highly appreciated, you have no idea how much! They won't get an answer here though, because I tried but it's really weird here on FFnet, it sends people private messages and I can't answer people who don't have an account and i don't want to discriminate anyone so know that I read you, and I love you, and I hug you :D

So I won't babble too long, I'll just finish this by saying that comments are still super welcome, whatever you might want to say (don't yell at me too much tho *pouts*)

Thank you again and see you next time :)


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